The Heart of life

A Conversation With a Contrary 4 Year Old

2012-02-01T13:07:00.000-08:00

Setting:Kendall and Emily are in the car, at a very busy intersection, during the lunch rush and the roads are cut to one lane for construction.

Kendall: Mom, is this traffic?

Emily: Yes.

K (speaking slowly): Mom...is...this...traffic?

E: Yes.

K (loudly): MOM, I SAID IS THIS TRAFFIC?

E: Yes! I said yes!

K: You should say, "Yes. This is traffic."'

E: Fine. Yes. This is traffic.

K: No it isn't.

Emily bangs her head against steering wheel.

-End Scene-

Home Is Where Your Rump Rests

2012-01-13T11:47:00.000-08:00

We've been watching a lot of Lion King lately, hence the title. We've also been in the throws of a bathroom remodel for a while. I can see it coming together now and I'm getting excited. It's ...interesting....doing home renovation projects when one spouse is a perfectionist and one is a "get-it-done"-ist. I'll let you guess which one is which in our house. To add to the fun, we like to do these projects when up against a hard deadline of having big events at our house. It's an awesome way to live.

A few days ago, as I was texturing the bathroom walls, I was silently cursing the previous owners. Why in the world did they think paneling was a good idea? (Tangent: I'm reading a lot about people putting up bead board, board and batten, and whatnot in their homes right now. I know it can look really good but I'm here begging you NOT to do that unless you're planning to live in your house forever. Because I can guarantee that look is going out of style at some point and the future owners will hate you when they are ripping it down.) I was feeling pretty irritated at the entire situation that I found myself in (the "situation" being covered in joint compound and making a huge mess because someone in the 60's thought paneling was awesome) when I read this post by a dear friend.

Our home had one owner before we moved in. Which might not sound like much till you consider that our house was over 40 years old when we bought it. People don't do that anymore. The average person my age, lives in a house for no more than five years. Why is that? Maybe the internet has made it so much more easy to look. Maybe we're just that much less satisfied and content as a society (I'm NOT saying it's bad to move! I want to move one day! I'm just thinking! If you have/will/are wanting to move I have no beef with it!) Mr. and Mrs. C bought this house (maybe built it) in 1963 and raised their family in it. Mrs. C lived in it for three years after Mr. C passed away. She finally had to move in with her daughter and that's when we bought the house after it had been on the market for two days (and we were the FIFTH offer in two days; true story). We didn't know it at the time, but I was pregnant with Cason when we signed all the paperwork. And now we've brought two babies home to this house and started raising our family in it.

After I read that post by Jess, I started thinking about all our house has given us. Of course shelter and memories but also connections. Connections with a family I'll never meet but feel a kinship toward. I often think, "Oh, what would Mrs. C think about the way that the carpet has been accidentally ripped up in Cason's room?" or "Mrs. C would die if she knew I threw away all of her custom made curtains!" Right after we moved in, I found a jar left in the pantry labeled "Dirt from the Sahara Dessert." How cool is that? This house has, in many ways, become the sixth member of our family (don't forget the dog...). It lives and breathes and has character and little oddities that we're still discovering. Did I hate the floor to ceiling mauve? Yes. Do I hate the back splash in the kitchen? You know it. But even for all that, this house has been very good to us. So I thank the C family for entrusting to us, for picking us out of six offers on the house, to own it.

Will we buy a house again that needs this much updating? NO. But for now, I wouldn't trade it.

2012

2012-01-04T12:06:00.000-08:00

We had a great Christmas. Seriously.

If you're ever having a bah humbug moment, I ask you to share Christmas with a young child and your mind will completely change. I know these years of magic and wonder won't last forever. In fact, I can feel them slipping away from me rather quickly. But for now, we will enjoy every minute of it. We have lots of pictures and I would love to share them with you but I can't because that would require me 1) going out to my car to get my camera and 2) actually bothering to upload the pictures.

For me personally, I made out pretty well. I got a TV for my kitchen, a Keurig, some shoes and cash. I can't complain.

So New Years.

I'm so glad I'm at the age where I don't feel like I have to front about wanting to go out and do something fun on New Year's Eve. Because I don't. We took the kids to a nice (for them) restaurant. If you're friends with Colin on facebook I'm sure you saw his rant about the kid's milk costing $5. After dinner, we came home and put on our jammies and played Monopoly Jr. I lost. Typical.

Some people aren't into New Year's Resolutions and that's ok. I'm not into making a big long list of things I want to accomplish over the year. I just like to have an idea of where I'm going. I decluttered 90% of the house in the past week and that felt amazing. We're in the middle of a bathroom remodel and I'm going to attempt to do some painting techniques that I've never done before so I'm excited about that. But as far as New Year's resolutions go, I'm going to resolve to do the following:

1) Blog more: I'm going to try to blog one or two times a week. I know. You are all dying of anticipation.

2) Drink more water: Sounds simple enough but I have the hardest time staying hydrated. I downloaded an app (yes, I apparently need an electronic device to monitor my water intake) and yesterday, it sent me a notification that I forgot to fill in my water intake for the day. I hadn't forgot. I just hadn't had any water. True story.

3) Get back into a regular exercise routine: Two years ago, I weighed 30 pounds more than I do now. I really haven't blogged much (if at all) about my weight loss. Not because I'm shy but just because it's the same story as everyone else. I was fat. I started exercising regularly and eating healthier and I lost weight. The end. It wasn't a New Year's resolution two years ago. In February of 2010, I went to the doctor for a sinus infection and they weighed me and I about choked to death when I saw what the scale said. I went ahead and gained a few more pounds before I had enough and started exercising. Now that I'm back into single digit clothing sizes, I'd like to stay there. When Cason started school, I envisioned me having so much more time to do things but it hasn't worked out that way. I've really struggled to stay in a consistent exercise routine. But it's just an excuse and I'm dedicated to working five times a week again. Maybe there's an app that can help me.

There you have it. It's nothing earth shattering but it's a few things I want to do to better myself in 2012. What about you? What are you hoping to accomplish this year?

American Girls

2011-12-22T14:37:00.000-08:00

As far as I'm concerned there are two types of women in the world: American Girl women and every one else. I don't mean "American" as in "from America." I mean, "American."

If you grew up an American Girl, you:
1) wanted to name your future daughter Samantha, Addy, Felicity, or Molly.

2) love(d) reading.

3) poured over every catalog even though you knew it was the same as the last.

4) knew your Christmas and birthday list would consist of some sort of American Girl loot. And your relatives knew it too.

5) felt sorry for your friends that weren't American Girls. But of course, you were kind enough to share (but never Samantha...she's mine).

Yes, I was an American Girl. I was spoiled. I had Samantha, Molly, Kirsten, Addy, and Felicity. I had every book. I had accessories. Each doll had multiple outfits and beds. I actually was subscribed to the American Girl Magazine for a long time.

Like I said, I was spoiled.

Without being too sappy or dramatic, I have to say, I love what the American Girl company gives young girls. The characters are respectable, believable, and identifiable. It's a cure for the Bratz and other ridiculous toys for little girls.

Kendall got a bitty baby for her first birthday. She still loves it. The last time we were at my parents' house, she got out my old dolls and had a ball. And then she rented the Kit Kittredge movie from the library. She was in love and I was fanning the flames.

So Wednesday, we did something awesome ~~for me~~ for Kendall. We stopped by the American Girl store in Dallas, birthday money in hand from grandparents.

Kendall and I could have stayed all day but Colin and Cason were with us. Next year, sister. Next year.

Four

2011-12-21T06:24:00.000-08:00

Happy 4th birthday to my smart, sweet and beautiful Kendall.

Kendall, you are more "yourself" than anyone I know. You are incredibly girly but not afraid to get dirty outside with your big brother I love you more than you know, Miss Sassy Pants.

Awkward Blog Post

2011-12-16T14:02:00.000-08:00

Have you ever told someone they could borrow something of yours and then you kept forgetting to bring it to them? Like, to the point of awkwardness. Examples being: You tell a friend she can have your maternity clothes and you forget to bring them to her every time you see her. And then she has the baby. OR: You tell a friend they can borrow the book and you forget to loan it to that friend. And then when you DO remember, they say, "Oh, I got tired of waiting so I bought it and read it and then read the other four books in the series." Awkward. Not that that has EVER happened to me. Ahem.

That's what I feel has happened to my blog. It's been so long that it's awkward.

So quick recap:

1) We had a thanksgiving with approximately 340 people (not really but almost). Kendall was sick. Take those two facts for what you will.

2) Kendall's birthday party was last weekend. And so goes my yearly rant about having a kid with a Christmas birthday. We had her party much earlier than her actual birthday this year. It was great in one sense because it's out of the way now. But it's made Kendall very confused about when her actual birthday is. She knows it's December 20th but she thinks that's already happened. Oh, and don't ask to see pictures of the party. They aren't uploaded yet.

3) We are done with Christmas shopping and have everything wrapped. This is the first year my kids will have presents under the tree for more than 5 minutes. They've done great so far.

4) Cason got to shop for us at the Santa shop at school. He got something for Colin, Kendall and me. All I know is what he got for Colin (a coffee cup (Colin doesn't drink coffee)). Colin knows Cason got him a coffee cup so he's really laying it on thick and saying things like, "I really wish I had a nice cup to drink hot chocolate out of." Cason lights up and gets the biggest grim on his face too. Love.

5) I plan to use said coffee cup when I get a Keurig for Christmas. I actually don't know if I'm getting a Keuring for Christmas. I'm trying to drop small hints like, "If I don't get a Keurig for Christmas, I'm quitting this family."

6) Kendall got her ears pierced. It's pretty adorbs if I do say so myself.

Other than that, we're hanging out getting ready for "the most wonderful time of the year!" Or something like that.

New Year's resolution: Post more on my blog, making less awkward for everyone.

Give Thanks

2011-11-24T07:25:00.001-08:00

This Thanksgiving holiday, be thankful you aren't in Marney's family.

It's Been Two Weeks Since My Last Post

2011-11-14T14:06:00.000-08:00

-OR-

Things longer than a Kardashian marriage.

Has that joke been overplayed?

Since I last blogged, Blogger changed their interface and I feel like a stranger in a strange land....

Cason played his last soccer game on Saturday. He loved every second of it. The moral to the story being don't tell everyone that you know that your kid will never play soccer because then they will most definitely play soccer. (I'm looking at you, Colin White) He wasn't all that great at it though so I'm not worried about him turning in to the next David Beckham.

We've got an awesome plumbing situation going on right now. The plumbing in one of our bathrooms has to be replaced. Which, incidentally, involves ripping out all the flooring and concrete under the floor. So right now there is a giant hole in my bathroom. And I have bunco at my house on Saturday.

Has this happened to anyone else? We bought this (old) house with the plans to redo most of it. It seems as if the chain of events went something like this:

1. Buy house
2. Make extensive plans for remodeling
3. Do nothing

We had make plans to redo that bathroom before but something else always came up (see: babies, cars, new fence). And now I'm glad because if we (Colin) had laid a new floor and THEN had to rip it up? Well, someone would have lost a limb on account of my anger.

So we've got this plumber in there as we speak replacing a drain. He came out last week and said he would have it knocked out in no time. Heh. Funny. So here we are four days later and I'm still looking at his plumber's crack.

And, quite frankly, it's not very enjoyable.

Halloween Redux

2011-11-02T10:44:00.000-07:00

Princess Tiana and Batman are ready to take off.

I must confess that Halloween is not my favorite holiday. I don't dress up. I don't decorate. I'll admit it -- I'm a Halloween party pooper. Apparently, Halloween is the new Christmas because the amount of parties/activities my kids were invited to was insane. They each had one at school, plus OC trick or treating, church carnival, four (FOUR!) Halloween parties, and then trick or treating. I see people on facebook going to Storybook Forrest or Haunt the Zoo and I'm like, "WHY?" I can't imagine taking my kids to one more Halloween activity. I did Kendall's hair in an up do this year complete with glitter hair spray and the hair pins I wore in my wedding. It seems to be the last year she wants to be something "princess"-y. She's already said that next year she wants to be a witch and wear lots of spiders on her hand. Cason wants to be a zombie. I guess I should go purchase fake blood now while it's on sale. There goes my dream of dressing them up as the Spartan cheerleaders.

Overall, the kids had a great time and more importantly got loads of candy. The two scariest things about Hallween were 1) the price of candy and 2) the check engine light coming on in my car. Naturally.

Next up:
Bunco (which I'm hosting)
Softball Banquet
Thanksgiving (which I'm helping host)
Kendall's birthday
Christmas in Texas

And in addition to that, we've ripped apart our main bathroom in the house. If you don't hear from me soon, I've checked into a mental institution.

An Acceptable Subsitute

2011-10-24T11:52:00.000-07:00

My husband went to a World Series game in Dallas last night. He got to sit 12 rows from the dugout. I'm pretty sure he was in heaven and never wanted to come home.

Cason was pretty bummed that he didn't get to go too. We had the following conversation.

C (while crying large, crocodile tears): But I wanted to go to the baseball game WITH Dad!

Me: Well, you can't. I'm really sorry. But tonight, we get to go to the grocery store and I'll let you pick out a Lunchable to take to school!

-long pause-

C: Mom, that is not even the same thing.

iNeed A New Phone

2011-10-05T15:06:00.000-07:00

Basically my iPhone stinks. I mean, it wasn't always slow and nearly unusable as it is now. One time 2 1/2 years ago, it was pretty great. The camera is awful. AWFUL. And my kids do funny things or I see someone at the store that looks ridiculous and I want to take a picture and blog it but the quality is so poor, you would look and think, "Is that Kendall wearing a princess costume or a bear in a bikini?" BECAUSE THE QUALITY IS THAT BAD.

I've been due for an upgrade since January or February but I've been holding off waiting for an iPhone 5. Someone remarked to me, awhile back, that I had amazing will power. That struck me as funny because if there is one thing I do not have it's will power. If there's a cookie in front of me, I'm eating it. If there's money in my wallet, I will find a way to spend it on something useless. Will power? Not me!

But man, I wanted that iPhone 5. And honestly, my phone wants me to have that too. It's tired. It just laughs at me when I try to open GPS (and by "laughs" I mean, it freezes, turns off, then won't turn back on for about an hour).

And now, it appears I won't get an iPhone 5. But I will be getting this nifty little voice recognition thing. So there's that.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Other news:

I've been sick for about two weeks now. Colin told me this morning to suck it up and get over it. I went ahead and went to the doctor where she also told me to suck it up and get over it. She did give me two prescriptions after I threatened her. She also, nicely told me that it might take me up to a month to get over this virus.

So yay.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
And because we do actually have a really nice camera, outside of my phone, here are some recent pictures:

That's neat.

Miss Smartypants wearing my glasses

This cutest lil soccer player ever? YES.

Kissing On the Mouth

2011-09-21T07:06:00.000-07:00

So I have this thing about "boyfriends" and "girlfriends" when it comes to my kids. They have friends that are boys and friends that are girls. They don't have "boyfriends" or "girlfriends" and they aren't anyone's "boyfriend" or "girlfriend." I cringe inside when someone asks them if they have a boyfriend or girlfriend. They're kids. They aren't supposed to. I have other reasons I don't like it that I won't go into, but you can certainly read them yourself in Raising Boys (which I think is a great book by the way).

Last night I was in the shower, and Cason knocked on the door and came in and told me he wanted to tell me something. I could barely hear him because I was in the shower. I couldn't see him because of the shower curtain.

"Mom. I want to tell you something."

"Ok, what is it?"

"Syuisnj* kissed me on the lips."

*I couldn't hear WHO he said kissed him on the lips, only that it happened. So I'm kind of freaking out wondering what I'm going to say about this. I decide not to make a big deal of it but I want to know who it was.

"Who kissed you on the lips?"

"Sjdhwjsj. She kissed me right on my mouth."

I still can't hear who it was.

"Well, that's not a good idea. We shouldn't let people kiss us on the lips that aren't in our family."

"She's NOT a person! She's a dog! I said SUNNY kissed me on the lips. I was laying on the floor and she came up and licked my mouth!"

Sunny is our dog.

Crisis averted.

All About Kendall

2011-09-13T17:16:00.000-07:00

Oh hey, what's up? Sorry about the neglect! Kendall and I have just been hanging out together shopping, lunching, napping and just having a grand time in general. But don't tell Cason. He thinks he's getting the better end of the deal by getting to go to kindergarten. Heh.

Today Kendall (finally...FINALLY) started back to pre-school.

This face right here is trouble.

I'm not sure what Cason is doing here. That's his new pose. Like the Missoni Line at Target, I don't get it. ( What is UP with Missoni?! I'm sorry but I just don't get it. But I'm old, so maybe that's why) Also, notice Kendall's Hello Kitty tattoo...Colin says not to be surprised if she ends up with a real one someday.

Cason took this picture of Kendall and I. I think he's got good skills for a five year old.

Kendall's new teachers told me that she was great and so sweet but that she wasn't much like her brother. That girl is DEFINITELY her own person. And we love her for it.

It's All Relative, I guess

2011-08-30T09:07:00.000-07:00

Today, after we dropped Cason off at school, Kendall and I stopped in somewhere to get some coffee before running some errands. Ok, I was getting coffee. Kendall was just there for moral support. An older gentleman said, "Wow, she's up early!" pointing at Kendall.

It was 9:15.

Clearly either:
a) This man has no children.
-or-
b) He doesn't remember when his children were that young.

Because 9:15?? Not early in the world of children.

Can I get an amen?

Investment Opportunity

2011-08-23T13:08:00.001-07:00

Kendall loves to paint. And, being completely objective and unbiased of course, I think her paintings are pretty amazing. They don't look like other kid's art work.

Examples of her early work:

(Check out her interpretation of a tree in the upper left corner of the picture above)

Later works in which she began experimenting with more colors:

And here is the artist herself, with her painting titled, "Paper With Paint On It." (She's something of a minimalist.)

Obviously, this child is headed towards making a name for herself in the art world. I want to offer all of my readers, yes all three of you, a chance to get in early in this artist. For the price of a Sonic sweet tea and a Target gift card, you can have your choice of any paintings shown here. Or she can custom paint one just for you. Don't let this opportunity pass you by!

Cherry Coke

2011-08-18T14:09:00.000-07:00

So we're a week into this whole kindergarten thing. Cason is doing great and loves it. But the afternoon when he gets home is.....well.....less than stellar. I know his body hasn't adjusted. I've moved bedtime up and have stayed strict with it. So far, the thing that seems to work the best is the days that I've had a Sonic cherry coke waiting on him. Yes, I gave my son a cherry coke. Get over yourself. The first time, I noticed a huge change in his mood so I decided to repeat the experiment. So now the question is: Do I keep serving up cherry coke to my five year or deal with the meltdowns? It reminds me of that King of Queens episode where they serve drinks to Carrie when she gets home from work to improve her mood:

I don't think a cherry coke once a week will kill Cason. I mean, I would never give him one everyday just to avoid the monster that has been taking him over every afternoon at 4:00. I would NEVER do that.

NEVER.

Ahem.

That you know of......

2011-08-16T11:55:00.000-07:00

So, this guy has been in kindergarten for four days. He loves it. LOVES IT. We knew he would.

Kendall and I are making the best of things. We don't start back to preschool for another four weeks (!) and it's been interesting. She wants to go to elementary school so bad. I keep assuring her that her time will come but it's hard for a three year old to envision something beyond lunch.

As for me, I've been dealing by eating lots of this and praying that other people think that my guy is as special and funny as I do.

Kindergarten Check List

2011-08-10T06:09:00.000-07:00

School supplies bought and delivered to classroom: check

Meet your teacher night: check

Kindergarten parent meeting: check

Living up the last few days of summer: check

Insane weather: check

People calling/texting me daily to check on my mental state of mind: check

One really excited three and a half year old who thinks she's going kindergarten: check

One really excited 5 year old who asks me everyday, "How many days till kindergarten?" : check

One really neurotic mom who is questioning every decision about PTA, teacher gifts, volunteering, what time to be at school, what time to pick up from school, can her baby walk down the hall by himself, can he pick out the right library books, can he find his lunch box, what do I send for snack time, did I send the right pencils/construction paper/crayons/folders/paint, what the other baby will do while her brother is gone all day, will he like kindergarten, will I be able to help him get homework done, will he have lots of homework, will he learn to read, will the teacher like him, more importantly will she like me, should I bring her a sonic card or is that sucking up, and SO ON AND SO ON: CHECK.

All day kindergarten starts tomorrow. Let's do this thing.

How To Tie Your Shoes...The Cool Way

2011-08-03T11:15:00.000-07:00

Cason has been wanting to learn how to tie his shoes. I was trying to explain it but I don't think I was doing a very good job at it so I looked up some videos on You Tube (What a great home schooling technique! "Here, look it up on You Tube.").

The first video I found was this little gem. Nothing will make you want to tie your shoes the cool way more than this dude.

BAM. You're awesome.

Potty Training Fun

2011-07-28T17:43:00.000-07:00

A friend of mine noted today that she got off The Facebooks for awhile because it was making her angry at people. Isn't that the truth? If you spend a lot of time on The Facebooks then you know what she means.

A few days ago, a friend of mine posted, "Don't tell me the sky is the limit when there are foot prints on the moon." And it took everything in me not to write, "But why shoot for the moon when you can reach for the stars?" Because I'm a smart alec. This story really has nothing to do with anything.

Yesterday, a facebook friend posted that her one year old daughter was showing signs of being ready to potty train and was it too early? She had bought her a potty chair and should they start using it? She got no less than 27 comments almost ALL from people with kids between the ages of 1 and 18 months saying things like, "So-and-so told me that their kid did it that early and it was a breeze! I think it will be pretty easy when we're ready!" and "I've heard that most kids just take right to it!" and "I know Little Baby is only 17 months but he seems ready to we're going for it this weekend!"

If you've ever potty trained a kid, you are laughing out loud right now, no doubt.

I wanted to comment, "ALL OF YOU ARE STUPID STUPID PEOPLE! PLEASE SHUT UP TILL YOUR KID HAS ACTUALLY MASTERED CRAPPING IN THE TOILET. THE END."

(sorry for the language Grandma.)

But I guess it's like everything else in parenting. You're an expert till you go through it. Maybe I should have told them my potty training horror stories?

Warning: Swooning Ahead

2011-07-18T11:13:00.000-07:00

Among the best decisions I've made in my life, I would rate them as follows:

1. Becoming a Christian

2. Marrying Colin

3. Having a family

4. Attending the New Kids + Backstreet Boys concert

I'm trying to find the right words to describe the utter spectacular amazement that was the NKOTBSB concert. But I can't. My friend Bailey described it as "amazeballs" and I would say that's as close as I've seen to an accurate description.

Friends, I can't tell you how much fun it was. It lived up to everything I had hoped for when we bought the tickets in January. And to go and jam out with awesome girlfriends made it even better.

This guy also performed:

The dude can sing, but he's no NKOTBSB.

If you need me, I'll be dreaming of these two:

Thoughts from White Water Bay

2011-07-06T14:42:00.000-07:00

White Water Bay is our local water park. We have passes and have been five or six times this summer.

It always provides for interesting people watching. Always.

I would like to sum up what I have learned there this summer in one sentence:

Some people have a serious lack of self awareness.

The End.

Apple, Meet Tree

2011-06-24T08:39:00.000-07:00

As a human, we all have traits that we don't like about ourselves....things we want to improve or change. As a parent, those are usually things we hope we don't pass on to our children.

I'm a worrier. I have slightly neurotic tendencies. I over think things. That would be one thing that I hope I don't pass on to my children. Unfortunately I think my oldest doesn't have much of chance. Case in point -- The following is a conversation we had this morning while driving home from a few errands:

Cason: Mom, when we get home, can we ride bikes?

Me: Sure. It's early enough that it doesn't yet feel like THE FIERY BREATH OF SATAN BREATHING DOWN UPON US. (Ok, I didn't really say that last part. But I was thinking it.) I have a few things to do inside the house and then we'll go outside.

C: Ok. But what if we get in a car wreck on the home?

M: Well I hope we don't.

C: Well what if we DO?

M: Then we'll cross that bridge when we get there.

C: What if we don't get in a car wreck but another car gets in a wreck and we can't get home in time to ride bikes?

M: I really don't think that will happen. But if it does, we'll ride bikes tonight after dinner.

C: What if when I'm riding my bike, I get in a wreck with another bike?

M: I don't think that's going to happen because you are the only one on our street that rides bikes.

C: But what if someone ELSE is riding a bike and we crash and then my bike is broken?

M: You're exhausting. I need a nap.

Now I know how Colin feels when trying to have a conversation with me.

The Sights at the Pool

2011-06-15T19:47:00.000-07:00

Our local pool is, uh, interesting. Most of the time everyone there is very nice and nothing is ever a problem. We've only been once this year because we have White Water Bay passes again (I know. You should be so lucky.).

I'm sure I've documented here before my son's fear of the water that all began two years ago at White Water Bay. If you are new here, let me catch you up to speed:

son loves water -----> go to white water bay -----> son gets pulled under water accidentally in the first 30 seconds of being at WWB -----> mom doesn't notice -----> friend's mom saves son ----->mom feels bad/son cries -----> son now deathly afraid of the water -----> mom doesn't understand this since she grew up swimming everyday that it was even remotely warm -----> mom puts son in swim lessons -----> son won't get in the water during swim lessons -----> mom gets mad -----> son swears when he is four he will get in the water -----> he doesn't -----> all of son's friends who are four can swim -----> doesn't seem to bother son -----> bothers mom -----> son swears when he is five he will get in the water -----> mom isn't buying it but acts excited anyway

So now, a full TWO YEARS after the near drowning at White Water Bay, Cason is finally into swimming and he loves it. The first couple of times in the water this year were a little touch and go but now, he is doing really well and loving it. The kids will start swim lessons in July this year (because I, am apparently, a glutton for punishment). If they like it, great. If not, I'm not getting my hopes up.

So back to our local pool. Cason wanted to go last night and because of this reluctance in the water, every time he asks I practically move heaven and earth to make it happen. While were there, we were swimming near another family. The dad had a huge booger hanging out of his nose. Have you ever seen anyone with a huge booger hanging out of their nose? Internet, I tell you this: It is impossible to look anywhere else. All I could think about was why the people that were with him were not telling him about this. And then my kids noticed and started talking about it. Loudly....because they only have one volume. AND THEN Cason says, "Hey, mom, that guy over there with the booger in his nose? He has an ipod strapped around his ankle!" Sure enough, booger dude has an electronic monitoring device around his ankle. Awesome. Booger dude heard Cason say this, looked at me and smiled and then promptly removed the booger from his nose. Since then, Cason has mention several times that he, too, would like to have an ipod to wear around his ankle. He sets his sights high people.

So there you go. You read this whole post to find out that we saw a guy at the pool with a booger in his nose and an Lindsay Lohan device around his ankle.

You are welcome.

30

2011-06-01T12:57:00.001-07:00

I officially enter my 30s today. I'm excited. Most of my friends are in their 30s already. My twenties were great so I can only imagine what the next decade will bring.

Cason asked me this morning if I was going to stop having birthdays soon. Wow, I hope not.

My first official photo as a 30 year old:

Here is to another great decade, folks!

Summer, Summer, Summer Time*

2011-05-27T11:22:00.000-07:00

*Bonus points to whoever can name the entertainer that sings that song...without googling it.

I can in no way promise that this will be my last weepy-teary-mah baybee is goin to big school post. I know it gets old.

I know.

But it's what I'm dealing with here. I've noticed several people (myself included) talking on facebook and blogs about sending their child (or grandchild) off to pre-k, kindergarten, 1st grade, jr, high, high school, or college. So yesterday I came to a decision that I would live every.day this summer; just live it up to the fullest extent. That doesn't mean spend a lot of money entertaining my kids every waking moment of the day. It means, spend quality time (my love language, btw!) doing things together and making memories.

I grew up in Houston and if there is one thing south Texas does right (it does a lot of things right actually...not the least of which is green sauce ) it's summer. Yeah, it's hot but people love what that means. It means swimming mostly; plus beaches and grilling, and vacations. I think that's why I love the summer months so much.

So this summer, I vow to do it all with my kids. Swim, play in the sprinkler, go to the spray ground; eat watermelon, smores, ice cream cones, peach cobbler and popsicles; mix the dirt with sticky fingers, spend time with friends and family, play outside every night, ride bikes, go to the park, stay up late, and just, in general, live it up this summer.

My kids will still go to summer preschool (they need it...oh, how they need it) but other than that, we are living free and easy. And I love the possibilities.

Bring it, summer. We're ready.

Two side notes:
1. Cheri, Kendall is wearing one of the adorable outfits you gave her in the above picture. In the sprinkler. I blame it on her dad who was supervising at the time.
2. Yes, that is our neighbor's house in the background. The fence that separates our homes got blown over. Colin put up a new fence, thank goodness. That view was killing me.

The One Where I Tear Up

2011-05-23T12:36:00.000-07:00

Cason had his last preschool spring program. I tried really hard not to cry but I did...by myself...in the dark while his class was performing. And I don't even care who knows it. So there.

Kendall still has two years left at preschool. THANK GOODNESS.

It all just happened so fast. He started out in the toddler class and now he's in the big kid class.

He's a born performer.
I look forward to the many programs, ball games, and (gulp) graduations in our future.

It's Good To Be Queen

2011-05-16T10:26:00.001-07:00

This morning, Kendall was sitting on the potty...doing what one does while sitting on a potty. When she was done, I handed her some toilet paper (if I don't hand it to her, she uses 1/3 of the roll). She said, "Thank you, your highness."

That's me. The Queen of Wiping Butts.

Lack of Sleep

2011-05-13T16:37:00.000-07:00

Colin's baseball team got beat in the state play offs last night. I'm disappointed/relieved about it. I cannot express how ready I am to have my husband home for a few weeks (before summer ball begins! yay!).

The game last night was about two hours away. It got pushed back several times due to weather. The kids and I didn't go so we were at home. It was very late by the time the game got started and Colin didn't end up getting home until 4 a.m. Yes, you read that right. 4 a.m. He slept for a little while and then woke up and went to his day job of teaching pimply 16 year olds calculus thingys and whatnot.

This afternoon, I was supposed to watch another coach's little boy for a couple of hours. His wife texted me and said that if I couldn't do it because I was exhausted from staying up watching score updates, she completely understood. Yeah, I was in bed and asleep by 10 pm. So I felt great!

So, just to review....
Things I WILL NOT sacrifice sleep for:
-Supporting husband's job and success and our livelihood

Things I WILL sacrifice sleep for:
-Watching the wedding of two people I've never met on TV

Happy Mudder's Day!

2011-05-08T11:15:00.000-07:00

That's what my kids said to me yesterday after Colin nicely reminded them to do so.

I had a great day full of yummy food (and, in America, isn't that what it's all about?) and a surprise visit from my dad that really made my day.

Saturday we went to Inspirations. It is sure to become an annual event, because OMGRAVY...THE FOOD.

This year, it seems I am more aware than ever that Mother's Day is painful for many. It's painful for those that want children and can't have any as well as those who have lost children or lost their mother. I thought a lot last week about my single mama friends who do the mom thing day in and day out without a break or help EVER. I think we should celebrate ALL women and what they do.

So, to my mom, mother in law, grandmas, my precious aunts and my mom's dear friends who all helped raise me...I thank you.

And to my kids' grandmas, great grandmas, precious aunts, and to all my dear friends who seem to pick up where I leave off in helping raise my kids...thank you.

Lots O'Stuff

2011-05-04T11:10:00.000-07:00

Wow. There have been lots of goings on here and yet, I feel like I have nothing to write about.

Let's start with last Friday. Yep. I woke up at 4 am to watch the royal wedding. Upon finding that out, people give me one of two reactions:

1) Jump and up down and clap and squeal with glee and engage me in a 20 minute conversation about fascinators, THE DRESS, Harry, and what Di would have been wearing (because we all know SHE would have flat stole the show).

2) Roll their eyes at me and engage me in a 20 conversation about why it was dumb and a waste of my time to even watch the wedding.

Colin woke up at 5:30 like he always does for work and proceeded to lecture me about how silly it all was. I told him he was curmudgeonly and that he should keep his mouth shut because I've spent 10 years not caring what he thought so why should I start now.

I thoroughly enjoyed waking up early to watch such a beautiful, happy occasion. I also enjoyed the party that was happening on twitter and sending roughly 200 texts to my good friend, Jess, between the hours of 4 and 7 a.m.
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After the wedding was over, I had to join the real world which meant getting my kid's breakfast and such. Cason had an assembly to attend at his new "big school" where he will start kindergarten (!) in a few months (!!). I was thinking that the assembly started at 9:30. I got out of the shower at 8:30 and around 8:45 thought, "You know, I should call the school to double check about the time." When I called they said the assembly started at 9:00 and would probably start a little early.

Of course.

So I threw on a hat, some mascara (duh), and some clothes. I threw some clothes on the kids and we got in the car ready to speed away to the school. Only my parking brake was on because Colin had been fixing a tire the night before. And, I tell ya, I could not get that dern parking brake to move. I called Colin and politely (ahem) asked him if I was doing something wrong. I wasn't. Finally FINALLY it worked and we made the 1/4 mile drive to the school and made it just in time for the assembly.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

So here's the thing, I just so desperately want Cason to have a positive year next year in kindergarten. He's only been to Sonshine School. He loves it there and I'm sure that he would prefer for them to have a k-12 program. As social as a kid as he is, he is like his dad in that he hates trying new things.

Then there is my daughter. A few weeks ago, I told her that when Cason goes to kindergarten, it would be just me and her all day. She said, "But, I'm going to kindergarten too." Whoops.

So there we were, at the school assembly. Cason was standing attached to my leg saying, "I want to leave. It's time to go home." Kendall was clapping her hands, dancing, and trying to get her brother to get excited. He wasn't having it.

He got to go look in the kindergarten rooms. He noticed that they had apple computers and he was excited about that. But that was about it.

Kendall was so excited about the prospect of going to kindergarten, she threw a fit when we got in the car and begged all day to go back.

Basically, we could have an interesting time ahead of us.

I'm trying to not make a big deal out of all of it and just enjoy our summer, but it's hard to suppress my neurotic tendencies.
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I gave up sugar again for the month of May. Yikes. In the interest of full disclosure I had a cookie today. I had to make them for an event and one came apart when I was taking off the baking sheet and it asked me so politely to eat it. So I did. At least that's the story I'm going with. Also, on Saturday, I'm going to Inspirations tea room, and by golly, I'm eating dessert there. But other than that, NO SWEETS.

I turn 30 on June 1st so it just felt like the right time to torture, er, uh, challenge myself again.

2011-04-25T20:15:00.000-07:00

Happy Easter. You'll notice my kids' clothing doesn't match. I had to let that go this year because I couldn't find Cason a tie that matched Kendall's dress. And, by golly, that boy wanted to wear a tie.

It poured down rain here on Easter but we really had a wonderful holiday. We're trying to overcome the sugar coma here. I saw "we" because I'm fairly certain I ate more candy than the kids did. I decided I'm giving up sweets again in May so I'm enjoying it now while I can.

Initial Misconceptions

2011-04-15T10:54:00.001-07:00

On Cason's birthday, I posted of picture of him on facebook that was taken in the hospital when he was probably two days old. My friend, Cheri (who is my mom's friend but now she's my friend too...how's that for the circle of life?) commented, "May you always cherish the initial misconceptions you had about him." The comment made me laugh out loud (or "lol" as the kids say) because of how true it is.

I have been reading so many blog entries and facebook updates of people that are just having their first baby and what they think that experience is going to be like.

Y'all, was I that dumb?

Probably.

The ones that make me laugh the most are the people who act like they have it all figured out and the baby is, like, hours old. I always want to say something like, "Call me when you have two or three kids and are on your fifth week of no sleep and you go into public with your pants on backwards accidentally but then you realize it and you just don't care because you're too tired to care about anything."

When Cason was a newborn, I thought, "This kid is going to be like Colin -- easy going and laid back."

If you know my son personally, I'll wait while you pick yourself up off the floor after a fit of laughter. He isn't laid back. He isn't easy going. He was a NEWBORN for heaven's sake! A "three week early too tired and lazy to bother with eating" newborn.

And here's the thing about parenting: Once you get one stage down and somewhat figured out, your kid is in a new stage. I'm sure that people with grown up kids enjoy laughing at me with my five and three and half year olds. And that's fine. They've earned the right to laugh at me. Just like I've earned the right to laugh at people with a three day old baby who talk about the baby's "personality" coming though or those that talk about how in love they are with their newborn. Because really? That love is honestly nothing compared to how much they're going to love those kids down the road. It multiplies till you just about can't stand it.

Five

2011-04-06T05:44:00.000-07:00

True story: When I was barely pregnant with Cason, like probably around eight or nine weeks, we ran into some friends at Target. The wife was nine months pregnant and going in to have the baby next morning. I remember at the time looking at her and feeling like that moment was never going to come for me....that having my baby seemed SO far away. Then I blinked and this happened:

Happy Birthday to my guy. Cason, we've watched you grow from a newborn to a baby to a toddler to a preschooler and now a soon to be kindergartener. And while not every day is easy, every day is a blessing. I love you more than chocolate.

2011-04-04T16:54:00.000-07:00

My grandpa died today.

I love this picture of my grandparents and my baby.

...my baby that I will go enroll in all day kindergarten tomorrow.

...my baby that will turn five on Wednesday.

...my baby that has his great grandpa's big brown eyes.

Evidence

2011-03-31T14:48:00.001-07:00

Little blue fingerprints...

...on the counter tops (please try not to be jealous of my awesome counters)...

...in front of the microwave...

..on the refrigerator...

...leading up to the stash of m&m's on top of the fridge...

...and the fingerprints may or may not be mine. I'll never tell.

Hi

2011-03-24T19:36:00.000-07:00

I didn't mean to gone this long from blogging. It just kind of happened that way. I'll be honest, I haven't really been in a blogging mood. First, one of our ministers at church passed away unexpectedly (if you live in the area, you probably know that) and I was really, really sad about that. He was a great man who will be greatly missed. Right after his funeral, the kids and I left and enjoyed some glorious warm weather in south Texas. It was a great trip and much needed. The kids acted great 95% of the time. I'm pretty sure that even though Cason insists his best buddies are Haley and Chase, his two papas are REALLY his best buddies. I think I gave birth to my father in law and my dad's best friend. Cason has spent a lot of time since our return telling me how much he misses all the family in Texas. If it were up to him, all of his relatives would just live like in a compound all together.

And, oh, wouldn't THAT be fun?

My grandpa is sick. Not really sure what all else to say about that but that, from a completely selfish point of view, I'm almost 30 and still have all my grandparents. I know how blessed I am.

Trust me. I really, REALLY do know. Colin has only had one grandparent alive for quite some time so I really do appreciate that. And I'm not sure I'm ready for that change.

One of my dearest friends who has been in my life for 20 (!) years or so is also suffering from some health issues. I won't say much else (but if you want to pray for her, it's appreciated!) because it's not my story to tell. She has a positive attitude and her prognosis is excellent. Thank you Lord for medical advancements that let doctor's find cancer early!

And, while we're on the subject, can someone please do something about cancer? Honestly.

I totally didn't mean this to be such a Debbie Downer of a post. Just keepin it real, folks. Here in the next few weeks my baby is turning five and he's having an OKC Thunder party. Then there's this whole business about enrolling him in kindergarten. Next thing you know, he'll be wanting to borrow my car and going off to college.

Yikes.

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Here is something semi-fun. I did a little guest writing for my brother's movie blog (post should be up on Friday). It was fun and educational! Head over and show me some love. Nothing would please me more than getting more comments than he does.

Yes, I'm sort of a movie snob. Deal with it.

Facebook Etiquette

2011-03-03T17:07:00.001-08:00

I'm thinking of making this a weekly feature. We'll see how it goes. Let's be honest here -- there is much we could cover on the subject of facebook etiquette. Don't even get me started on being political on facebook. And also? One word: farmville.

But what I want to discuss is when someone asks a question on facebook, and MULTIPLE people comment with THE EXACT same answer. I don't get it. It's like they just need others to know they also knew the answer.

EXAMPLE:

Emily White Does anyone know the location of The Really Cool Store?
Polly Esther It's located on the corner of 1st and 2nd Street
I.P. Freely On the corner of 1st and 2nd street
Joe Cool I've been there and I can also tell you that it's on the corner of 1st
and 2nd street.
Jane Doe I think it's on the corner of 1st and 2nd street. Haven't been there yet
but I'm dying to go!
Brittney Spears Yep! Everyone is right! It's on the corner of 1st and 2nd street!
Justin Beiber Look at the corner of 1st and 2nd street.
Michelle Obama On first street right by second street! LOVE that place!

What it really means:

Emily White Does anyone know the location of The Really Cool Store?
Polly Esther It's located on the corner of 1st and 2nd Street
I.P. Freely I may have hit "comment" the same time as Polly
Joe Cool I need everyone to know that I have been to The Really Cool Store
Jane Doe Invite me to go with you! I even know where The Really Cool Store is!
Brittney Spears Just wanted to let everyone know that I ALSO know where it's at.
Justin Beiber Please think I'm cool because I know the answer.
Michelle Obama Not only have I BEEN there, but I have been there enough to LOVE it so clearly I am the expert here.

Now if you are ADDING something new to the conversation that is totally acceptable.

Example:

Emily White Does anyone know the location of The Really Cool Store?
Polly Esther It's located on the corner of 1st and 2nd Street
I.P. Freely On the corner of 1st and 2nd street
Joe Cool I've been there and I can also tell you that it's on the corner of 1st
and 2nd street.
Jane Doe I think it's on the corner of 1st and 2nd street. Haven't been there yet
but I'm dying to go!
Brittney Spears Yep! Everyone is right! It's on the corner of 1st and 2nd street!
Justin Beiber Look at the corner of 1st and 2nd street.
Michelle Obama On first street right by second street! LOVE that place!
Jessica Anderson It's behind The Neat Place. And they only accept cash, so bring some with you!

So, even if you DO know the answer, you don't have to comment just to prove that you do.

What are your facebook pet peeves?

I Feel His Pain

2011-03-02T06:22:00.000-08:00

My general rule, or practice, regarding dinner around these parts is that if Cason doesn't like what I cook, he can make himself something else but I won't help him or make anything for him. He doesn't do that often but occasionally, he makes pbj or toast.

I made some chicken Santa Fe stew and he decided he would eat all the beans out of his and then make himself some toast. It's very frustrating to cook something and to not have anyone eat it (Colin is in baseball season and gone all the time) and pour half of it out. When he was making toast, Kendall asked him to make her some too (incidentally, she ate most of dinner), which he did. After the toast was done, Kendall ate two bites of hers and threw it away. Cason got really upset and said, "But I made that for her and she didn't even eat it! She just threw it away!"

Is it too young to teach him irony?

Things I Keep Trying To Like But Don't

2011-02-21T11:31:00.001-08:00

1. Tuna fish: I've been trying to like this one for years. I even tried this recipe from this website that I love. I love everything in that recipe. But I ate a few bites and had to be done with it bc I couldn't stand the tuna.

2. Jogging: I've been regularly exercising for a year and I would still rather do anything than than jog or run. I hate it. HATE IT.

3. Parenthood (sorry Jess): Guys, I've tried. I like in theory, but in practice, it just doesn't work for me. For starters, Lorelei Gilmore makes my skin crawl (sorry Gilmore Girls fans). Is she happy? Is she upset? What is she and why does she smile no matter how she's feeling? Secondly, Peter Krause and Monica Potter's teenage daughter is arguably the worst actress on TV right now. So I'm removing it from DVR.

4. Oatmeal: I'm so sorry about this one Trainer Bob. I've have eaten with berries, bananas, maple syrup, peanut butter and I just. don't. like. it. Not only that, but when I eat it, I'm hungry again like an hour later.

5. Anne Hathaway: This is like Parenthood. In theory I should like her. I just don't. I don't get her appeal. I loved Becoming Jane but since then....yikes. I don't want to see anything she's done.

Happy Valentine's Day

2011-02-14T10:21:00.000-08:00

A reminder...buy your love a Starbucks drink. It's totally romantic.

And to get in a romantic frame of mind, a clip from one of my top five favorite movies O.A.T.*:

My favorite part comes around the 1:05 mark. Hilair. If you know what movie this is from, I love you more than you could ever know. If not, find out and watch it.

*Of All Time.

The One Where I Dream About Beef

2011-02-12T10:52:00.000-08:00

Alternative titles: Where's the Beef? (Too cutesy, no?)
Beef. It's what's for dinner. (Too predictable.)

I currently have a freezer FULL of approximately 30 pounds of organic, grass fed beef. I have had this idea for awhile of buying a side of beef or a quarter of a cow but haven't really pursued the issue. Then this beef came our way and we were more than happy to accept (free beef!). A friend told us last night that once we ate this beef, we would never want to go back to buying beef from the grocery store. Which is probably true and I think that, at some point, buying a side of beef is something we'll look into more seriously. But in the interest of practicality isn't something we can do right now. We don't have a deep freezer or the space for one. But that's not really where I want to go with this post.

I like beef, but I don't cook a lot beef. I like chicken. I know chicken. Give me a chicken and I can turn out a masterpiece. My husband jokes that I don't even know what beef is. When I was pregnant with Kendall, I had a major aversion to chicken. I couldn't even say the word or hear other people say it without gagging. I'm pretty sure that was the happiest Colin has ever been because I was always cooking beef. But I digress.

So I have all this beef in my freezer. And internet, I'm not going to lie. I make an amazing brisket and an equally amazing roast so those cuts will be put to good use. But I have something like 8 t-bones and ribeyes and I have absolutely NO IDEA what to do with those. I've been doing some research and I feel no better equipped to make a decision on what to do with these. And I have some beef ribs and I'm not sure what to do with those. And then there is a cut I've never heard of (pikes peak roast anyone?). So I've been researching these cuts and recipes, etc. which led to me having a dream about beef last night. I was trying to cook a roast only I had none of the ingredients that I needed so I had to work with what I had. Not a bad idea for a cooking reality show, btw.

So if you have any insight into what to do with the following: Tbones, Ribeyes, Beef ribs (not short ribs...and I assume that it does matter but what do I know?) and Pike Peak Roast please share.

White Lasagna and White Lies

2011-02-07T18:50:00.000-08:00

We survived the snow storm. Mostly. And just in time for another one! We all got some virus that has left us with sore throats, coughs, etc. We did probably the same things you did (ate, watched movies, read, ate, watched the kids perform various musical numbers on a variety of subjects, ate, and were generally lazy).

So I know that lying is very normal for a kid Cason's age. And his little lies usually don't bother me. Like when he tells me he has seen a preview for Despicable Me 2 (which, in addition to not being true, also shows our society's penchant for sequels). There's really no harm in that. Plus, the lines between make believe play and real life are fairly blurry to an almost five (!) year old. But sometimes...they're just hilarious:

Cason: What are we having for dinner?
Me: White Chicken Lasagna
Cason: I've had that before. I don't like it.
Me: Well that would be impossible because I've never made it before.
C: I had it at a friend's house.
Me: Which friend?
C: Oh, you don't know him.
Me: I know all your friends.
C: Ok, well, I didn't actually have it at a friend's house. I made white chicken lasagna by myself once.
Me: I don't think so.
C: Yes, I did. I did it when you and dad weren't watching me so you didn't know about it.
Me: I know that's not true.
C: Yes it is! I made it while you were asleep!
Me: I know that's a lie.
C: Then why did you let me keep talking?

Something about the thought of him making a lasagna for himself made me laugh. Hopefully he'll grow out of this at point.

This Snow Season

2011-02-03T09:09:00.000-08:00

...don't wear UGGS. Get the vaccine if you have to.

A big thanks to my friend Cheri for posting this on my facebook wall.

Also, a big thanks to all of you who wear UGGS, let me make fun of you and still come back to my blog.

Vegas Odds

2011-01-31T14:39:00.000-08:00

In case you don't live in this area (or you do live in this area and happen to reside under a rock), we are getting hit with Snowpocolypse, Snowmaggedon, Gary England Snow-Fest, whatever you want to call it. Presumably, there will be some snow days in our future. Here are a few Vegas over/unders:

Movies we will watch: 17
Books we will read: 48
Times we will bake: 3
House projects I want to get done: 5
Projects that will actually get done: 0
Times I will want to divorce Colin: 17
Times he will want to divorce me: 213 (I'm way, WAY worse you guys...)
Times we will eat at Ron's Chili since it's right around the corner from our house: 8 (I really, really, love Ron's.)
Times we will have to take a kid to the dr in a snow storm: 2
Times a kid will want to go play in the snow, get bundled up and come in five minutes later bc it's too cold: 8
Times Cason will ask why he's not going to school: 17
Times Cason will throw a fit because he thinks all his friends are at school without him: 6
Times I will explain to Cason that NO ONE IS AT SCHOOL: 23
Times I will be thankful that I'm not nine months pregnant: millions

What's Worse Than Being Sick?

2011-01-28T06:02:00.000-08:00

Being sick on pajama day at school.

Just ask this poor little dude.

He was bound and determined to make it to pj day at school. He stayed for all of about five minutes before realizing how truly awful he felt. I should have known how awful he felt from the fact that he didn't eat breakfast. This kid LOVES breakfast.

So that's where he spent the majority of the day. On the couch with a blanket and pillow pet watching Marmaduke in between naps. Yes, Marmaduke. That fine piece of cinema. I honestly can't believe it wasn't nominated for an Oscar.

Conversations with Colin

2011-01-25T14:38:00.000-08:00

Colin: I get to teach linear equations tomorrow. I love teaching linear equations.

Emily: Uh, nerd alert (insert massive eye roll...followed by eyes glazing over).

Emily: Oh, by the way, I really want my own iPad. And a small paper dictionary.

Colin: Why, exactly?

Emily: So I can play scrabble. It's hard on my phone. And obvs, if I'm playing scrabble, I need a small paper dictionary.

Colin: You have your own money and you can buy your own iPad if you want. And a small paper dictionary.

(pause)

Colin: Yeah, I'm definitely the nerd here.

Drive safely, folks.

2011-01-21T07:40:00.000-08:00

Excuse me while I rant for a minute.

Which, let's be honest, is nothing new round these parts.

On Sunday we were almost in what could have been a horrible and deadly car accident. It wasn't horrible or deadly or even a car accident but the only reason it wasn't was because of my husband's reaction time and driving skills. Really it's too complicated to get into here as to what happened but let me give a few words of advice:
1) If you miss you exit, rather than turning into a car going 70 mph on the freeway to make your exit, just go to the next one and turn around. You might think this would go without saying and yet.....
2) Always, always, always wear your seat belt. I don't know what would have happened to us if we hadn't been.
3) Thank you Lord for good car seats. Cason bumped his head on the window but other than that, the kids were fine. We had been talking about moving Kendall to a bigger car seat even though she only weighs 28 pounds but I won't even consider it now. 5 point harness all the way for that girl!

I've had a couple dreams this week involving car accidents. Be careful out there people!
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On Monday, I tried on some skinny jeans tucked into some ADORABLE black suede wedge boots (not UGGS...I repeat NOT UGGS) (They were Nine West in case you were wondering). And here's the thing....It wasn't me at all. Seriously, I looked like someone else. And obviously I like that look or I wouldn't have tried it on. But it wasn't me. So I'll have to sit this one out guys. According to Yahoo! fashion, the skinny jean trend is going by the way side anyway. Which means it will be going out of style in Oklahoma in about 5 years. Awesome.

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My goal is to lose 15 pounds by my birthday, which is June 1 (I accept cash, gift cards and checks). So far, I've managed to lose exactly zero pounds. Or, more accurately, I'll lose a couple then gain a couple. I thought since to this point, I've lost 25 pounds, it would be easier. But yikes. So I don't know what I'm going to do about that. I've pretty much given up desserts for awhile. Any thoughts you have on the subject would be appreciated.

Holla 2011

2011-01-10T13:12:00.000-08:00

I mean, it's only 10 days into the new year, but whatever. I haven't even posted this year yet. I've been in this placed called Panem. You may never have heard of it or you may have visited there yourself. Panem is post-apocalyptic country where a girl named Katniss Everdeen lives.

Yep. I read the Hunger Games. All three books. In a week.

Leave me alone! It's not like I read Twilight or something! A friend gave me the books and I could.not.stop.reading.them. Seriously. But there are no werewolves or vampires so I still reserve the right to make fun of my friends who love Twilight and do things like line up at the movies at 6 pm for a midnight showing of, "Eclipse." (Please note: My friends know I make fun of them for this. I do it openly and to their faces. And they still like me...which is why I love them.)

Plus, The Hunger Games is actually good.

Just don't ask me what "team" I'm on* because that's the kind of stuff that makes me hate Twilight.

But at any rate, I loved The Hunger Games and now it's onto the next book, which I started today. I'll let you know if it was good.

In other 2011 news: Cason has become obsessed with Angry Birds. I myself have never played it but it's become embarrassing how obsessed with it he it. He actually told the librarian today that he knows how to play Angry Birds on his dad's ipad and he's really good and can get to all the levels. Not one of my prouder parenting moments. Note to self: Do NOT buy this boy a gaming console.

Also, I had a "moment" in Gap Kids the other day. I bought a few shirts for Cason and then proceeded to almost cry at the register and unload to the cashier that this was the first time I had bought anything in Gap Kids instead of Baby Gap. And I'm sorry, but it made me sad! So there! And I'm sure she thought, "Someone get this lady a xanax STAT."

Hello, 2011. Here's to more reading, healthier living, less Angry Birds, and hopefully less breakdowns in Gap Kids.

*Team Peeta...in case you were wondering. Deal with it.

Christmas 2008

2010-12-24T11:40:00.001-08:00

Going through old pictures today, I found this one from Christmas of 2008. I had a one year old and a two and half year old. Well, if that picture doesn't make you warm and fuzzy inside, then I just don't know.

Why I'm Not Crafty

2010-12-21T06:08:00.000-08:00

I don't have to be crafty. My friends do it for me. And anytime I want something, I just ask my incredibly talented group of friends. Seriously, ask my friend Kim about the time she posted pictures on her blog of a Valentine's day wall hanging she had made. She had to make me one too. And I have no shame in asking.

So for Kendall's birthday, I set out to enlist the help of some of my most talented friends. My friend Jamie (You can look her up on facebook, her business name is Wishful Baking) made these adorable cupcakes for Kendall to take to school for her birthday. They're little Sheriff Woody stars and Jessie hats.

Awhile back (like in March), I asked my friend, Deidra, if she would be interested in making Kendall's birthday cake. She said she would and when Kendall wanted a Jessie party, I emailed a few ideas to her. Then I forgot what I emailed to her and put my total faith in her. When I saw the cake, I screamed. I mean, is that cute or what? I think it meant more to me than my wedding cake did.

In case you're wondering why it says, "Happy Birthday Kendall and Aaron" on it, Kendall and her uncle almost share a birthday and he likes to complain about how he always got the shaft because his birthday is so close to Christmas. So now he can't complain anymore.

Here are both my babies at Kendall's party. Cason is already working on his junior high boy smile. And in case you are from this area, and you are asking yourself if Kendall's birthday party was at Johnnies, Yes, yes it was. It's her favorite restaurant and she has somehow convinced her grandparents to take her there every time they baby sit. She started asking to have her party there back in October. And it saved me from cleaning house and cooking. So there you go.

Good thing her party is over. Now I can relax for awhile. Oh wait, no. Christmas is Saturday.

Three

2010-12-20T07:35:00.000-08:00

Happy 3rd birthday, Kendall.

I love you more than ice cream.

Who's on First?

2010-12-15T10:48:00.000-08:00

Cason: Mom, what's the name of this song?

Me: "Do You Hear What I Hear?"

Cason: What?

Me: "Do You Hear What I Hear?"

Cason: Hear what? I don't hear anything.

Me: No, that's the name of the song.

Cason: What's the name of the song?

Me: "Do You Hear What I Hear?"

Cason: WHAT? HEAR WHAT?

Me: No, listen to me. The name of that song you asked about is "Do You Hear What I Hear?" That's it's name.

Cason: What song?

Me (gritting teeth): Nevermind.

Cason: What? WHAT? Oh! THAT song! Oh, ok.

Me: Yes, the name of it is, "Do You Hear What I Hear?"

Cason: Why didn't you just say so?

2010-12-10T06:16:00.001-08:00

Hi all!

Why haven't I been posting?

Well, really no reason other than being busy bossing around the two short humans that live with me. That seems to take a lot of my time. Christmas is upon us. I know this because me and my short humans almost got run over 8 times in the WalMart parking lot yesterday. I have to say, my house looks awesome this year for Christmas. Those of you that know me well know that I am *slightly* particular about the decor in my abode. I haven't really enjoyed how I decorated for Christmas the past couple of years but I got some new stuff and it's the bomb.com this year.

Also, in addition to Christmas being upon us, so is a birthday. My baby will be three (!) in a couple of weeks. Not sure who told her she could do that but she has to stop it. Last night she and I went to go see Tangled and got a cupcake from Pinkitzel. It's amazing how much more talkative she is when her brother isn't around monopolizing the conversation.

Not a Micro Manager

2010-11-29T17:23:00.000-08:00

I'm kind of a non-fiction junkie. I love reading self helps, parenting books, cook books, lifestyle books, books about countries around the world, etc.

I've read a lot of parenting books. *

It's like I need help or something in that area.

Quit laughing.

One thing I've noticed in parenting is a common theme that, as a parent, you should give your kids their room as their space. Which, in theory, I'm on board with.

Until Cason decided he wanted to keep his toys in grocery sacks.

I'm trying really hard to let it go.

*Emily recommends: Scream Free Parenting, Boundaries with Kids, and The Happiest _______ on the Block Series. You're welcome.

Be Thankful

2010-11-22T19:51:00.000-08:00

This year on Thanksgiving, there are many things we all can give thanks for. One of them being that you are not going to Thanksgiving with this woman.

Somehow I doubt her "sense of humor" she speaks of....

What IS This?!?!?!

2010-11-18T17:50:00.000-08:00

(be jealous of my awesome manicure)

Did anyone else's kids get these trick or treating? I've been meaning to do this post for awhile. We're not still eating Halloween candy (that you know of). But, in all seriousness, is that not the grossest Halloween candy you have ever seen? I threw them out. Kendall loves gummy candy and I just cold not stomach the thought of her eating a thumb in a hot dog bun (how many times do you get to say THAT in life?).

You'll Miss These Days

2010-11-15T16:19:00.001-08:00

I hear that a lot. If you have small kids you probably do to, generally from well meaning strangers.

And I'll be honest, some days it's easier to believe than other days.

Today was a day I won't miss.

But that's ok. The days where I find myself screaming into a pillow (or a towel, or sweatshirt, or whatever is handy) or going into the bathroom and beating the counter top with a hand towel (this is all hypothetical, of course)are few and far between.

So, today as we left Braum's, and the very kind older lady said, "You will miss these days so much when they grow up." I wanted to ask her, "I'll miss Cason begging for bright blue birthday cake ice cream? And I'll miss Kendall laying on the floor of the library screaming? (And while we're on the subject of the library will I miss days like today when I saw someone I knew there and she saw my kids but I hid on the other side of the library while she was looking for me so I wouldn't have to talk to her and her kid that never misbehaves? Will I miss that?)" Probably not. I won't miss any of that.

And I won't miss finding Cason sitting on top of the refrigerator looking for cookies that I hid. I won't miss Kendall biting her brother (when will the biting END?!). I won't miss Cason dumping ALL of his books on the floor along with his massive toy car collection. I won't miss the temper tantrums.

So I guess it's more accurate to say this while I won't miss THIS day, I suppose at some point, I'll miss THESE days.

Bear With Me

2010-11-10T06:31:00.000-08:00

So we're in the middle of a bedroom remodel. I'm so excited for it to be done. Our bedroom has always been the last thing and we never get around to it. It needed some major TLC and redecorating. Although I haven't bought new bedding yet and the old stuff is not going in my new bedroom so perhaps I should take care of that.

In case you haven't seen it on facebook, while the bedroom is being done, we're sleeping in the living room. So my huge bed is in my small den. Which pretty much makes life a little crazy for me. I never feel like I can find anything. I've been trying to keep things clean but it gets a little difficult at times. I have several pictures I want to post but that would require me trying to locate my camera cord. And I just don't think that's going to happen right now.

I'm also simultaneously trying to redecorate Kendall's bedroom. And I want to redecorate and paint my kitchen. And it's the holidays. And Kendall's birthday. So have I bit off more than I can chew? Probably. My goal is by the end of January to have it all done. So that means February.

Let's just hope my bed can move back into my bedroom before then.

P.S. Does anyone know anything about recovering a chair? I'm dying to do it but have no idea how.

Is anyone still out there?

2010-11-02T17:18:00.001-07:00

Wow. It's been awhile since I posted. I would like to make up some awesome excuse but really, we're just busy, like everyone else. We visited the great state of Texas, we came back to Oklahoma, we did the pumpkin patch, and we went to 800 million Halloween activities/parties/trick or treats just like the rest of you. When did Halloween get to be such an ORDEAL? Didn't we just trick or treat when we were kids? I know, I know. I sound like an old grouch. But seriously.

So many of my friends have been remarking on blogs and on facebook (side note: why isn't "facebook" an acknowledged word by spell check? WHAT DOES MARK ZUCKERBERG HAVE TO DO???) how much they love this time of year. I must admit that I don't. I love love love summer. I love swimming, grilling, hot weather. I love that it stays light out till 9 pm or later.

Don't get me wrong. I really enjoy Christmas and decorating for Christmas and doing all that stuff. But the fall....I'm just not really that into it. I suppose it's my south Texas roots coming through, where we had two seasons: "Hot as blazes" and "not as hot." One day I'll tell you about the time I moved to Oklahoma and my parents told me to buy a coat and I bought a jacket because I thought a jacket was a coat. I HATE cold weather. HATE IT.

But I can't keep it from getting cold. So I guess I'll just button up my coat and deal with it. Maybe I have seasonal depression (because don't even get me STARTED on January/February).

See? We went to a pumpkin patch:

Just Two Things I Want to Share

2010-10-20T08:04:00.000-07:00

This little contraption is my new favorite cleaning item. It makes dusting a snap.

For my son.

He's at that age right now where he loves doing this kind of stuff. He asked me this morning if he was good if he could dust for me everyday. Oh, I guess so.

Now if I could just convince him that laundry was a blast.....
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New Topic

Just in case you missed all my obnoxiousness about it on facebook: Congratulations to my husband. His girl's softball team won the 5A state championship this past weekend. That's three in five years for Colin as a coach...plus two in baseball.

I told Colin I was going to order this shirt for him. (I took this picture from my paused TV with my iphone. Be amazed at my photog skills.) I don't know why he acted like he didn't want it.

But I promise you, watching someone you love be successful, really, it's the most fun thing you can imagine. There are a few times when being a coach's wife pays off. This, for sure, is one of them.

Quite the Ensemble

2010-10-15T13:36:00.001-07:00

Rain boots, a purple purse, Lightening McQueen shirt, and a backwards Thunder hat. Awesome.

I was going to get her this dress for her Holiday dress but now that I see this, I'm thinking it's a much better option.

And I realize that all my pictures recently have been of Kendall. We still have Cason...don't worry. He's been too busy to take any pictures.

Keepin it Real

2010-10-06T07:35:00.000-07:00

Edition: Things on my bed.

Five blankets

Five pillows

Two towels

Three shirts

A pair of pajamas

A shoe

A sheet (on top of the blankets)

And a baby

Parenting Practices

2010-10-03T18:36:00.000-07:00

It's been awhile since I wrote an actual honest to goodness blog post. So, I've got one for you. If you don't want to read it, I totally understand. It's probably pretty boring. If you want, you can skip to the end and watch a video of dancing monkeys. Seriously.

I'm not going to write too much about the "Mommy Ladder" because it's been written about ad naseum. And mostly by people who write better than me. But you know what Mommy Ladder I'm talking about. Natural childbirth? Up one step. Breastfeeding? Up another step. Attachment parenting/homeschooling/ organic eating parent? Flying up the ladder!

Here's the thing: I have no problem with any of the things I listed above. In fact, if you did/do any of those, I think you're pretty awesome. But can we all agree to make our own decisions about parenting and -gasp- ACTUALLY be OK with them? A good friend and I have been discussing lately (mostly because decisions we've made have looked down by other people) how many people stand in total judgment of other people's parenting. And I'm not talking lack of discipline, what you let your kids wear, etc. I'm talking about the tough, sometimes heart wrenching decisions that families make.

It's one thing if you say, "Yes, I'm a stay at home mom (using that example bc I am one) and since you asked, I would love to tell you why this decision was right for our family." It is quite different to say, "Let me tell you why I'M BETTER than you because I've made a different decision." Or "I'm really not at peace with my decision to so I'm going to be ultra hard on others to justify my choices."

All that to say, YES, I was induced twice, breastfed both my kids for a year, stay at home with them (which apparently will make them totally unsocial as I was told by someone the other night)(never mind that they go to school twice a week and bible class twice a week (let it go, Emily, let it go)) and I'm not holding my son back next year even though he's on the young side. But even if you're the total opposite of me, I probably still like you. And you probably still love your kids. And we're all just trying to make the right decisions for our families. Which is what it's all about, right?

As promised: Dancing monkeys...

If They Call Me "Ma" We're in Trouble

2010-10-01T15:49:00.000-07:00

This morning I sent my kids to work with their dad. It was still dark out when they left. For breakfast, they had leftover rolls and jelly.

Something about the combination of a breakfast of rolls and jelly, and going to work with the father before sunrise made it seem all very "Little House on the Prairie" - ish.

Except for the fact that I then went to Starbucks and shoe shopping, I'm EXACTLY like Ma Ingalls.

It's The First Day of Fall!

2010-09-22T15:19:00.001-07:00

And Kendall commemorated the day by jumping into a pile of ....

...freshly mowed grass? Well, ok. I guess we'll take what we can get.

I Love It

2010-09-21T16:42:00.003-07:00

And I love all of you. I didn't even have to delete anything before I typed that.

A Photo Essay

2010-09-17T10:48:00.000-07:00

Cason asked me if he could take some pictures the other night. He's regular Ansel Adams if I say so myself.

This one is entitled "Dad"

"Kendall"

"Mom" (He's a minimalist when it comes to naming his photographs)

"Lamp"

"Wall"

For $800 you can have a 15 minute photo session with him. For that price, you can have him in a location of your choice and you will receive a credit towards prints.

*He just walked by my computer and said, "Mom, I didn't take the last picture, Kendall did." How could I not notice that was not his authentic work?

Well, we DO go to the bathroom more.....

2010-09-14T14:58:00.000-07:00

Cason: Mom, why are you letting Sunny (our dog) out?

Me: Because she probably needs to pee.

Cason: Yeah, girls have to pee a lot.

Me: Well, boys have to pee too. Don't you ever have to pee?

Cason: Yeah. But daddy doesn't ever have to pee. He just toots.

Bad Name

2010-09-10T11:35:00.001-07:00

I took the kids to the park today.

And there was a lady there with two little adorable boys. But one of the boys had the most unfortunate name I have ever heard*. And the mom kept saying it in an annoying voice over and over again, making it even worse. It was like hearing a tiger run his claws down a chalkboard.

She said his name so many times that my kids started saying it, thinking it was funny.

It wasn't.

Moral to the story: Even if you really like a name, if it makes other people wince in pain, maybe you want rethink it.

*I'm not telling you what it is because it's very distinctive and if I tell you, I just know someone will say, "Oh, yeah, that's my cousin's kid."

Positive Reinforcement

2010-09-05T13:19:00.000-07:00

We did great at the wedding! Somewhere there is a professional photographer with awesome pictures. But until then, this will have to do. But these kids acted good and smiled pretty. And it only took the promise of a new dvd, a new toy race car and some pretend makeup to make it happen. How's that for bribery? Er, uh, "Positive Reinforcement."

Weddings and Bribery

2010-09-03T05:51:00.001-07:00

We're having a wedding this weekend!

What is about weddings that just bring out THE BEST in everyone?

Tomorrow, my sister in law and I are hosting (hostessing?) a breakfast for our new sister in law. When I got married, someone gave me a beautiful luncheon the day before and I felt a strong need to pay that forward. Luckily my mom is arriving this morning so she can do fun things like iron table clothes and cook breakfast casseroles. Yay for moms!

Yesterday I went and bought a ton of food for said breakfast. While I was shopping, I told the kids they could pick out something small to get if they were good. So they did. I'm embarrassed to tell you what it is because I swore my kids would never wear these but they rhyme with Hilly Randz (hangs head in shame). But whatever, that's what they picked and it was $2. When we got to the register those dang bands, bracelets, whatever they are, would not stinkin scan. The poor gentleman working was so frustrated. The line behind me was SO LONG and I felt really bad. I apologized to the man behind me. I said I would just put the dang bands back but I had already promised my kids they could have them. He was very kind and said he remembered those days of bribing your kids so I shouldn't feel bad. It ended up taking almost 8 MINUTES to them to scan and in the end, we just rang up something else I had bought that was the same price. And would you believe that my kids haven't even mentioned them since we got home yesterday? Lesson learned: Don't buy silly bandz.

Another lesson learned: When you buy expensive orange juice for a bridal breakfast put a note on the container that says, "IF YOU DRINK THIS, I WILL SHAVE YOUR EYEBROWS OFF IN YOUR SLEEP!" or something along those lines. Because if you don't, you will wake up in the morning and your husband will have drank half the carton. And you will have to go buy more juice.

Wish us luck this weekend! My kids are in the wedding and, seriously, there is no telling what Kendall will do. I told them they could get a new movie if they did good. (NOTE TO SELF: STOP BRIBING KIDS.)

September 1st

2010-09-01T07:02:00.000-07:00

Pardon me while I ramble and pontificate for a few minutes.

In case you don't remember, I gave up sweets for the month of August and today is September 1st. And I did it. The whole month. No sweets.

First of all, I want to say this: People say to me, "Oh that's crazy, I could NEVER do that!" But here's the thing, no one ate more sweets than me. NO ONE. Seriously, ask my friends and husband. And that's why I wanted to challenge myself with this.

At the beginning of the month, my brother in law asked me what I was hoping to get out of this experience and at the time I really didn't know. It took the month for me to figure that out. I realized how much I use sweets as a crutch. Have a difficult day? Eat a brownie. Kids act bad? Make some cookies. And eat them. Mad about work? Get a snickers bar.

A month ago, even two weeks ago, I assumed that on September 1st, I would be running to the nearest Starbucks to get a huge mocha and a brownie. But now that it's here, I just don't want any sweets. In a discussion with a friend last night, I said that was an odd feeling and something I wasn't familiar with but there it is. We decided to not lose momentum and ...... wait for it......keep going.

I'm going to give myself the weekend because my brother in law is getting married and I'm going to be having myself some cake. And I'm doing a bridal breakfast for my future sister in law and I hired someone to make cinnamon rolls so I'm eating one of those. But other than that, sweets will now be reserved for very special occasions. My taste buds, but most importantly my mindset, have been changed.

And that, my friends, makes all the Chris Farley moments worth it.

PS I also lost over 5 pounds...so that isn't bad either.

Denim Help

2010-08-26T14:33:00.000-07:00

Hello internet. I need some help. *

One of the reasons I lurve the internet is because you can answer just about any question you might have. Or someone else can answer it for you.

So I need some new jeans. For years the long and lean was my standard. Then I had kids. Then I was poor and fat. And now I'm slightly less poor and less fat. So I'd like to go back to nicer jeans. The Long and Lean just doesn't fit me right anymore. (Not to bore you with details or anything but I think it's because I used to wear ONLY heels so my jeans could be longer and now I wear ONLY flats so even the ankle length is too long.) (I know. You are GLUED to your computer screen right now wondering where I'm going next. Socks? Tank tops?) I went to The Gap and everything there is either a) ultra skinny minnie jeans or b) jeggings. Which, really, I fail to see the difference but apparently there is one.

So here is the criteria: Must come in dark wash; Must not be insanely expensive (because I have $700 boots to buy so I can't be spending $300 on jeans); Must be for someone approaching 30.

So, tell me, what jeans do you love?

*Abbreviated version of this whole post: I need some new jeans. Where do you get yours and do you like them?

A Blog Post, Literally.

2010-08-17T14:26:00.000-07:00

I have a pet peeve. Ok, I have a lot of pet peeves. Seriously, a book should be written about all the things that people do that bother me. This one annoyance has bothered me for years. YEARS. And that, Internet, is the blatant misuse of the word literally.

I can remember the exact moment that I started hating this word. I was in 9th grade. A girl that I knew was up at the chalk board answering a question when she got choked on something. And she coughed and choked a few times but nothing that anyone thought we needed to call 911 or something. When she recovered, she said, "I was LITERALLY choking!" and she went on to repeat that phrase what felt like 852 times. "I was LITERALLY choking!" I remember going home and telling my mom about it and saying, "Of course she was literally choking. What other kind of choking is there? FIGURATIVELY choking?"

Misuse.

Since that time, the complete and utter misuse of this world has bothered me in a way I can't really express in human terms. And it has gotten worse because LITERALLY has become a very mainstream word.

Take our good friend and celebrity stylist Rachel Zoe. CLEAR MISUSE, RACHEL.

A friend emailed me last night and said she had been sitting in a lecture when the speaker said, "We will open the world to you...literally." No. Not literally. What he should have said was, "We will open the world to you....figuratively."

And this, friends, is where you come in. We are starting a revolution. Please use the word literally correctly and encourage others to do the same. For example, if you went to the DMV and had to wait awhile and you said, "Literally, I just waited 30 hours at the DMV." Now you probably didn't really wait 30 hours. So say, "Figuratively, I just waited 30 hours at the DMV."

And don't bother writing our president about this problem. His administration are some of the offenders. See how Arne Duncan thinks we are literally walking backwards here. And google "Joe Biden literally" for examples of his overuse of the word.

Go ahead. Google it. I'll wait.

Here's the thing: Everyone has a word or words that they use to add emphasis. I use "honestly" and "seriously." So I would say something like, "Seriously. I just waited 30 hours at the DMV." Some people say "truthfully" or "Here's the thing." Pick something like that to replace the "literally"s in your life. And Viva La Revolucion! Or I might poke your eyes out....figuratively.

Shoes vs. Food

2010-08-13T07:41:00.000-07:00

So yesterday a friend and I were discussing sweater dresses for the fall. She said she loved them with leggings and boots and I agreed. So then I started thinking I might need some new boots. And I found these little lovelies.

So what that they're $675.00?

Not a big deal right?

"Cason and Kendall, I am so sorry that you guys are cold this winter because you only have underwear to wear. But look at mommy's boots!"

"Guys, I know you are sick of eating Ramen for every meal but aren't mommy's boots AMAZING?"

"I'm sorry that we had to go without electricity for four months. BUT THE BOOTS!"

Well, I suppose a girl can dream.

So How's Potty Training Going?

2010-08-09T12:14:00.001-07:00

Today, I found Kendall in the bathroom standing in a puddle of pee while looking in the mirror putting on my makeup.

I'm trying to tell myself that I've been through this before.

Today is a Sonic day. Don't worry my friends. I'm only getting an unsweet tea.

Excuse me while I go cry.

Hypothetically Speaking

2010-08-03T06:54:00.000-07:00

Hypothetically speaking, if you were to do something crazy say like.....give up sweets for a month when you have a massive sweet tooth, I wanted to give you a heads up as to what the first two days would be like:

Day 1: Huh...this isn't too bad. Sure I'd like a donut but nothing I can't handle.

Day 2: OH MY GOSH!! SOMEONE GIVE ME AN M&M RIGHT NOW OR YOU WILL ALL DIE!!!! DIE, I TELL YOU!!!!!!!! GIVE ME CANDY NOW YOU PEONS!!!!!!!!!! CANDY!!!! COOKIES!!!!! CANDY!!!! BROWNIES!!!!!!! GIVE ME SUGAR!!!!!

You know, hypothetically speaking.

Really, your inner Chris Farley will come out and it won't be pretty.

And this feeling will be intermittent with a calm feeling of daydreaming of sweets, perusing the internet looking for awesome dessert recipes that you will make on September 1*.

So now I'm on Day 3. Feeling a little more in control than yesterday. I know I will be faced with sweets tonight so I'm prepared for that. I've got a party to go to, and I just hope Chris Farley stays at home.

*Smores brownies

Sweet Stuff

2010-07-30T14:42:00.000-07:00

So I'm giving up sweets for the month of August.

I know. Hilarious laughter ensues.

I'm blogging this on a Friday afternoon in hopes that you have something better to do with your Friday than read my blog. Then maybe before Monday, I'll post again and you won't ever have seen this.

Here's the thing: I've lost 17 pounds but those last few pounds are hanging around like a bad case of acne. Won't. Go. Away. So I'm doing the Mayo Clinic diet. (Got my book today! From the library! Nerd Alert!) Basically you give up eating anything yummy for two weeks. If it tastes yummy, PUT IT DOWN FATTY! Just kidding. Kinda.

But there it is. I'm giving up sweets and announcing to the good people of the internets in an effort to strengthen my resolve.

I was reading through my Mayo Clinic book today while eating a cookie (WHY won't those last few pounds go away???) because I was enjoying my last few days of sweets. I got the most hilarious text from a friend that said, "That's why I'm eating sweets too. Because I'm under this impression that I'm doing this with you but I've not made a public announcement even to (husband) just in case I want to back out."

So here I am. Making a public announcement. No sweets for a month. No cookies, candy, chocolate, cake, brownies, ice cream, starbucks mochas, soda, snow cones, or anything with chocolate chips.

Welp, there goes my ENTIRE food repertoire.

If you don't here from me for a month, I'm somewhere in a corner crying and rocking myself.

Rock The Vote. Or Boat.

2010-07-28T12:06:00.000-07:00

Me (to Colin): Don't forget we need to go vote on Tuesday.

Cason: We're going in a boat on Tuesday?

Me: No, vote. Not boat.

Cason: Are we going swimming with the boat?

Me: No, not boat. VOTE. VVVVVVOTE.

Cason: Are we going to take the boat behind a truck?

Me: We are not taking a boat anywhere. I'm not saying boat, I'm saying VOTE. VOTE. VOTE.

Cason: Whose boat is it that we're taking?

Me: VVVVVVVVVVVOTE. With a V not a B!

Cason: Oh, okay. Like Bolt the Super Dog?

Me:( Bangs head against wall)

Further Proof I'm Close to 30.

2010-07-21T12:48:00.000-07:00

I love the Genius Recommends feature on iTunes. In fact, I facebooked one day about how I wish that I had a Genius feature for other areas of my life. Example: "You love chocolate covered donuts therefore you might also like brownie sundaes!"

Ok, I see your point. You don't really need an app to tell you that you like brownie sundaes. Perhaps a better example would be, "You like Gap Long and Lean jeans so you might also like these jeans from Banana Republic. " And you could say, "Why yes! I DO love those trouser jeans from Banana Republic! Now all I have to do is justify spending $100 on jeans when we have to buy two new cars."

You know, just hypothetically speaking.

Today, I was listening to my iTunes while folding laundry (it's exciting lives we lead here, folks.). I decided to see what Genius would recommend to me. It recommended an iTunes Essential called Soccer Mom Chillout. I didn't know whether to be offended or happy that they knew me so well.

But don't worry, I didn't download it. I already own most of the songs on the playlist. #Embarrassing

It's Raining

2010-07-16T13:19:00.000-07:00

Not literally. It's 834 degrees and sunny!

But figuratively it's raining. You know, as in, when it rains it pours.

So my car hasn't been working. Awesome. It's been a veritable treasure hunt for Colin trying to figure out exactly what's wrong with it. We are (somewhat) hopeful that it will work at sometime in the near future. Which will be good because we don't want a car payment.

And yet, the universe seems to be working against us on that.

Colin had taken my car to have a read out on somethings that might still be going on with it and when he came back, after being gone a mere 25 minutes, he ran in the house and said, "What happened to my truck?"

Well, friends, let me tell you what happened to his truck. Someone smashed into it and moved it 25 feet. It's done. It won't be driven again. Oh, and the best part? They didn't leave any information! Three cheers for dishonesty!

Oh, wait, what was that? Why didn't I hear someone smashing into the truck while I was IN THE HOUSE? I blame it on three things:
1. I was making banana bread and had the mixer on
2. I was listening to Dave Ramsey's radio show (Oh, Irony, you are a wicked lady)
3. I have an insane amount of ear wax right now

So here we are. It's like we have a gimpy right leg and are missing our left leg. I don't know what we'll do. I really don't. Cason had a great suggestion for us:

"Dad, let's get you a monster truck."

In Which I Remember I Have a Blog

2010-07-12T13:19:00.001-07:00

We took a great little trip ~~that my mom and I force upon Colin several times a year~~ to Houston (aka Colin's favorite place on earth ). Our week went something like this: fireworks, search for brother's lost dog, shop, swim, eat, shop, swim, eat, shop, shop, shop, eat good Mexican food. So all in all, a success!

I would like to send a shout out to the inventor of portable dvd players, McDonalds, Texas rest stops, and of course the one and only Walt Disney for making 16 hours (!) in the car with a 4 year old, a 2 and a half year old and a 29 year old with sinus issues, bearable for my husband.

Walt Disney, wherever ye may be, I tip my hat to thee.

Hey look! A picture of myself on my own blog!

I read somewhere that Demi Moore had plastic surgery on her knees to make them less ugly. At the time, I thought that was ridiculous. But now I'm looking at this picture thinking that I'll tweet @MrsKutcher and ask her for her doctor's name.

Cars

2010-07-02T15:40:00.001-07:00

So Cason has been asking all about the Cars sequel since I told him there was a new Cars movie coming out. Next year. Why do I insist on torturing myself? WHY?

In doing some research today (yes, I researched the Cars sequel. get over it.), I saw this is opening.

I swear if any of you breathe a word of this to my son, your punishment is that YOU have to take him.

8 Years of Wedded Bliss

2010-06-29T20:20:00.000-07:00

...or something like that.

Colin looks like a baby in this picture. I love this picture because it has two of my best friends (Colin and Lindsay). Also, Colin gets to return the favor of being best man to his brother here in about two months (Woohoo!).

But seriously, if Kendall came to me two years out of high school and said she was getting married, I would laugh in her face. Thankfully, my parents acted with a little more grace. I think they knew Colin was a keeper.

We're going out to celebrate Thursday. We had the following text conversation yesterday:

Me: Laini (sister in law) said she could watch the kids Thursday.

Colin: What's Thursday? :)

Me: Well, I'm going to coffee with Jessica. I don't know what you're doing. Ha.

Colin: Guess I have night to myself if Laini is watching the kids.

Me: You can go to Home Depot or whatever you like to do for fun. This is how we should spend all our anniversaries. Separately.

Colin: A plan I can get on board with.

Folks, if that's not love...well then I just don't know.

The Dad Life

2010-06-28T11:27:00.000-07:00

Thank you to my friend, Cheri, for sharing this. It's funny cuz it's true.

Dad Life from Church on the Move on Vimeo.

Fun

2010-06-21T17:53:00.001-07:00

The theme for Mandy's contest this week is fun. And let me tell ya, this boy loves his sprinkler time. It's pretty much a nightly ritual at our house. He may be too afraid to put a toe in the pool but he'll stick his butt on a sprinkler any day of the week.

This has nothing to do with anything except that I thought I should note that she's not trying to get a drink, she's using it as a microphone. Oh boy.

Oh, and it's not hooked up otherwise a mean joke could have been played.

An Unsettling Sight

2010-06-16T19:44:00.000-07:00

This was what I saw when I walked into our bedroom tonight:

A little plastic arm crying out for help...

Oh, I have my suspicions, alright.

My friend, Brooke, hilariously pointed out how much Woody looks like one Mr. Jake Gyllenhaal:

Quick, someone photoshop a cowboy hat on that head.

A little something to cheer you up

2010-06-14T14:40:00.001-07:00

At least she cheers me up, 90 % of the time. Ok, ok. A solid 85% of the time, she makes me happy. Although Camp Get Outta Diapers and Into Panties starts this weekend. ( I think Camp GODIP has a nice ring to it, yes?) We've bought an awesome pink potty and twenty one pairs of undies. That should last at least 30 minutes. If you haven't heard from me in a week, send in the SWAT team. Hopefully they'll have someone on staff that can potty train her.

A Bra Can Change Your Life

2010-06-07T11:20:00.001-07:00

Is that a vast overstatement? I don't think so.

To my (small) (non-existent) male audience: Please look away. Or so you've been warned.

Ok, now that it's just the ladies, I have a confession to make: I've been wearing nursing bras since I had Kendall. I haven't nursed anyone in a year and a half.

WOW. That was embarrassing. But I feel better now that everyone knows the truth. I was wearing old, tattered nursing bras.

Back in February I decided to get some new bras so I was fitted and when I found out what size I was wearing, I laughed and was like, "That can't be right! I'm not that fat!" Oh, wait. So I didn't buy any new bras. But then I lost 15 pounds and decided to finally bite the bullet and buy some undergarments that didn't look like a dog had gnawed on it, drug it through the yard and finally put it through a tree shredder. And then tried to wear it. And then realized that dogs don't wear bras but if they did, this dog CERTAINLY wouldn't be wearing a bra that looked like this. (I just really wanted you to have a visual on the kind of bra I was wearing)

So glad that Victoria's Secret semi annual sale coincided with my new bra buying spree. I bought six new bras, all the same but in different colors. (Shut up, that's what I do. I buy things in multiple colors. One day I'll tell you about the time I had 10 gap sweaters, all the same but in different colors.) AND LET ME SAY THIS: New bras rock. Especially when you're used to wearing something that serves almost no purpose.

My girls went from looking down and depressed to looking up and out. I look like I lost ten pounds. Plus, I went down a size because I'm no longer having to tuck my boobs into my pant waist.

I guess all this time I've been hesitant to get new bras because I like spending my money and effort on things that people can see. But let me just say, if hell is wearing old, nasty bras then this is heaven.

I thought about taking a picture of my old bras but I just couldn't bring myself to do it. I threw them out. I'm not ever planning on using them again. And if I need a nursing bra again, I have bigger problems than not having any.

Do yourself a massive favor ladies: Find a new bra that you love and buy at least 15 of them. If not 15, at least one.

Rants and Raves

2010-06-05T06:35:00.000-07:00

And it's my blog, so I can.

So there.

First off, if one person asks me any version of the following questions: "Now that Colin is off, what are ya'll going to do with all the free time?" "Are y'all traveling anywhere during all of Colin's time off?" "What is Colin going to do with all his extra time now that school is done?"; if you ask me any of these, I swear, I will rip a limb from your body. Which won't be fun for either one of us, I assure you. Yes, he is done with teaching. But it is summer baseball time. If you have ever played summer ball, had a kid that played or know anyone that has played, then you know that it takes up every.minute.of.your.time. This season is worse than regular ball season. It's every single day. It's Sundays. Plus, he takes care of the baseball field. So PLEASE, for my sanity's sake, refrain from asking me what plans we have made for all of Colin's free time. Your limbs will thank you.

Second, do people in Oklahoma not learn during driving school what a double yellow line means? Folks, if you see one, it means that one lane is going one way, and the other lane is going the other way. There is an area of construction that I frequently drive through and people do not seem to understand this and they drive the same way on both sides of the double yellow line. I am going to be forced to write down license plates if this continues.

And finally, in the "Celebrities are funny because they are stupid" category, Teri Hatcher says that her daughter never threw a fit in public. Interesting. Apparently, that all happened under the nanny's care.

Hello

2010-06-02T06:48:00.001-07:00

How are you all?

Yesterday was my birthday. It was the first annual celebration of my 29th year. I had a big blog post planned for the event but Monday I came down with a nasty sinus infection. Nasty, I tell you. The only other time I was sick on my birthday, it was when I turned 7 and I had chicken pox. And I assure you it was just as sucky this time as it was then. Thankfully, I got mucinexed up and am feeling much better now.

So I got sick Monday. You know what else happened Monday? I spent 10.5 hours in the car with my kids. Don't be jealous. My dad drove us to a meeting point halfway between my parents house and our house where we met Colin. The first half of the drive was fine...no traffic...no impending death from inflamed sinuses. The second half (after we met Colin) was filled with much weeping, waling and gnashing of teeth. Traffic was insane. (Seriously, leave it to the Oklahoma Highway Commission to do road work on Memorial Day) I could not keep my eyes open because of my sinuses. Thankfully, THANKFULLY, the kids acted pretty great. It was me that acted like a four year old. So a trip that should take about 8 hours took 10 and a half. True story: At one point, we were about 90 miles away from our house and we were driving by a motel (at 2 mph) and we were having a serious discussion about pulling over and staying there for the night because Colin and I had both had it. How desperate are you if you are talking about staying in a hotel a mere 90 miles from your house?

So anyway, that's my grumbling and complaining for the day. My memorial day was full of traffic and I was sick on my birthday.

But I must say that facebook and texting are pretty awesome on birthdays. I really felt the love. And I had some awesome chocolate cake and Colin took me to one of my new favorite restaurants...without our children. What more can I ask for?

Way Back Wednesday

2010-05-26T05:45:00.000-07:00

The kids and I are leaving the country today. And by that I mean, of course that we are going to Texas.

But don't try to break into my house while I'm gone because Colin will still be here. And so will my dog. And while she may not hurt you, she will get white hair all over your black burglar pants.

I thought I would leave you with an old timey blog post today. It's from a simpler time. When I only had one child. And I thought going out to eat then was hard. HA! Oh, I also murdered a bird.

Goodbye Jack.

2010-05-23T13:33:00.001-07:00

I think I will miss you and your lack of self-confidence most of all. I don't care what happens tonight, you were always the chosen one.

Sidenote: Did you know that Jack was originally set to be played by Michael Keaton and was to be killed off in episode one?! THANK YOU that THAT did not happen.

Thoughts on Yarn

2010-05-21T17:20:00.000-07:00

That's right, yarn.

We have weird neighbors. Lots of weird neighbors. We have neighbors whose adult son is morbidly obese and he wears a blue tooth ALL THE TIME, even to mow the yard. And he takes an exercise ball with him places and he buckles it into his car. Weird.

We have a neighbor whose daughter I got into a slight yelling match with last year. Her dog barks all day every day and they put cigarette butts in our back yard. Weird.

We have a neighbor lady whose dad hit and run not once but twice on cars that were parked at our house. The second time it happened, he had his license taken away and she called our friend whose car had been hit and cussed her out. This neighbor also frequently walks the streets yelling and she wears the worst mom jeans ever (even though she's not a mom). Her hair is also the biggest, frizziest hair of all time.

Then there is our neighbor who has called the cops on himself several times.

Sigh. Other than that we live on a pretty awesome street. And we even have one set of amazing neighbors that we've developed a great friendship with and they have kids that are similar ages. Oh, and she's my awesome bow lady.

So, where am I going with all this?

Awhile (like a month or so ago) back, Cason was playing outside and he found a full yarn ball (skein?) and he unraveled it all over the yard. It was bright red and I had no idea where it came from. He said he just found it in the backyard. After a few days, I was sick of looking at it so I gathered it up and threw it out.

Fast forward to today. Cason is playing outside. And he finds a skein of yarn, bright yellow this time. Where is this stupid yarn coming from?????? He showed me where he found it in the yard. Who is putting yarn in our back yard and how is getting there?

The whole thing is quite puzzling to me. Yarn. In our backyard.

Weird.

And here is your Things I Will Miss Most About Lost #5:
Acting like I have actually learned some religious or cultural thing from the show. And feeling sorry for those that don't watch it.

Things I Will Miss About LOST #4

2010-05-20T16:13:00.000-07:00

Sawyer's reading glasses

Things I Will Miss About LOST #3

2010-05-19T13:50:00.000-07:00

Unanswered questions

The creators told us that not every question would be answered. And what a perfect ending to a show that has created more questions in 6 seasons than in the previous history of the world combined.

I'm thinking about getting all 6 seasons on dvd so that I can re-watch it all and come up with more questions that will never be answered.

Things I Will Miss Most About LOST #2

2010-05-18T10:44:00.000-07:00

4, 8, 15, 16, 23, 42

If you don't know, you're not a true fan.

DUDE

2010-05-17T10:39:00.000-07:00

This is for my LOST friends. Can't believe by this time next week all our questions will be answered and we will know how it all turns out. In honor of The. Best. Show. Of. All. Time coming to an end, I'm going to blog daily this week about what I will miss most about LOST. Today? It's Hurley saying Dude.

Dear Gap:

2010-05-12T10:51:00.001-07:00

Please tell me we're not going to do this again.

I got rid of all my overalls when I was a sophomore in college and I DON'T plan on going back.

Thanks tons.
-e