Tuesday, February 02, 2010

Re: Article in Celebrity Baby Blog

Sigh. Well, I just don't know. Gisele, I'm sure that you are a really nice person in real life. I bet you are a barrel of fun to be around.

But seriously.

Women already dislike you for three primary reasons: 1) You're gorgeous. 2) You dated Leo. 3) You're married to Tom Brady (although maybe not so much that last one bc he rubs me the wrong way sometimes).

But, G, did you really need to give women another reason to hate on you? Honestly? No pain in childbirth? Me thinks you are not telling the truth. Either that or me thinks you had not back labor (because back labor hurts. like for realsies.)

I'm sure you have already shed the baby weight. If you even gained any. Which I'm sure you didn't. And I bet breastfeeding is, like, so stinkin easy for you.

What's next? Your fight to keep weight ON? The struggles of flying with an infant while on a private jet? Talks of how hard it is to find a good nanny and personal chef?

Yay for you! You are perfect and the day you gave birth, sunshine shot out of your uterus and there were rainbows and kittens dancing around the bath tub to encourage you!

G, you may want to think about keeping your mouth shut or we may agree to vote you off the island of woman kind.

Thanks tons!
-e

7 comments:

Jessica said...

i thought the same thing yesterday when i read the people article...but you always have a way of putting it so eloquently.

OK Chick said...

HA. Are you and G...BFFs?

Deidra said...

I don't even know what story you're talking about, but I think you need counseling.

Hi, I'm Ginny said...

I hate celebrity moms....and I haven't even been through it yet!

Jessica said...

Deidra's comment CRACKED ME UP. She knows you too well.

I fully intend to also have a pain-free childbirth. Like Gisele, I can make things happen just by concentrating and focusing on them. I'll let you know how it goes. Plan on being at our house the day after Owen is born and I'll make you some pancakes. If you're lucky, they will be PLACENTA pancakes.

Natalie Hudkins said...

You are HILARIOUS!

OK Chick said...

Gena and I will be eating at the Great Wall Friday 26th. You need to join us!