Thursday, February 26, 2009

Ok so, you know those parents? The ones we all talk about behind their back?

They bring their OBVIOUSLY sick child out in public. To day school, to bible study, to church, to play group. You look at them and think, "Have you no decency? Do you not care about your own child and the children of others?"

And you know what? Sometimes, other people call out those parents. Sometimes they say, "Uh, we are worried about your child's eyes and the goop that is surrounding them." Sometimes they say, "I think eye infections are incredibly contagious." And do you know what those parents do? They laugh it off. They do not heed the warnings. They say, "Yeah, I think she's ok" or "It's probably just allergies" when everyone is really thinking, "Yeah right! It ain't allergies! Get that kid away from here and to a doctor!"

You know what else? Those parents generally have nice friends who refuse to hold them accountable for bringing a highly contagious child out in public. They just say, "Oh, hopefully she'll feel better soon!" or "You didn't know how sick she was!" Those friends need to ban together to say "No more will you bring your sick child around!"

I swear, the people that take out their ill children really irritate me.



Found out today Kendall has a severe sinus infection that spread to her eyes that caused a massive case of double pink eye. I apologize to the parents of the masses of school and church children she has been around since Tuesday, when I began artfully ignoring her symptoms. Doctor says we'll be noncontagious by Saturday, so we'll see ya at church on Sunday!

Wednesday, February 25, 2009

Some days I feel overwhelmed by the task of motherhood. Other times, things go pretty good. Today was one of the good days.

Lord,
Thank you for days where the weather is beautiful, the kids are in a great mood, everyone naps and eats healthy, no one fights or throws up and let me not forget the blessings You have granted me.
Amen

Of course Cason also pooped in his pants three times so there's that.....

Monday, February 23, 2009

1. It is now appropriate to wear a bed sheet to a formal event. Ask Jessica Biel.

2. Mickey Rourke's hair looks shockingly like mine in the morning.

3. Celebrities like to think they are really important when they are not. Especially the actresses. And Sean Penn.

4. SJP actually thinks she is Carrie Bradshaw now. Because surely SJP knows better than to show up in an ill-fitting Barbie wedding gown.

That's right. I said it. Eat it up.

5. Jimmy Kimmel and Tom Cruise make an oddly hilarious duo.

6. Note to Beyonce: You would have been better served by showing up in your 'Single Ladies' leotard than that mess you were wearing.

7. Brad Pitt gets better looking with age. If that is possible.

8. My husband has a crush on Angie Jolie. Sidenote: At first when I saw her last night, I was all -meh. But now, I must say, Girlfriend looked good.

9. When the Academy Awards are on one channel and an Outrageous Home Videos show is on another channel, ALWAYS pick the home videos show.

10. I have never really noticed before, but Hugh Jackman is pretty hawt.

Friday, February 20, 2009

Holy stinkin cow! Have I really not posted since Monday? Not sure how that happened. Oh wait, yes I do. Let me tell you our week in a nutshell:

vomiting
diarrhea
laundry

the end

I swear. No one ever told me that having kids would make you more sick but it does. Here's how it generally goes in our house: First person gets sick, second person gets sick, third person gets sick, fourth person gets sick, dog gets sick, first person gets sick again to end it. Although Cason has somehow manage to avoid it, which has me on pins and needles.

Ok, enough of that.

I have bunco at my house on Saturday. Let's hope Colin doesn't cut his finger off this time.

I need a new hair style but I don't know what to do. So now it's just in this weird phase of not-long-but-not-short-making-me-look-like-I-have-no-neck-thingy.

Cason is wearing a Rocket's basketball jersey today. He took his jeans off to pee and now he's walking around with the jersey tucked into his underwear. I don't know.

(sorry for the randomness of this post)

(it's friday so my brain is on autopilot)

(i'm thinking it's a bueno night for dinner...thoughts?)

Monday, February 16, 2009

An iPhone (or is it Iphone?) that is. Colin got me one for Valentine's day. Actually, if you must know, the truth is, my contract was up and it was time to move on. The fact that it coincided with Valentine's day is purely coincidental. Wait - I mean - Look! Colin totally surprised me with an iphone for Valentine's day!

When I went to Italy (stick with me here, I have a point) it was before everyone had cell phones. In fact, most people in Italy had one and I thought it was weird. But anyway, on the plane ride over there I played LOTS of tetris. LOTS. And when I got there, I would see tetris in my sleep. A similar thing happened to me last night. I was having dreams of urban spoon and izoo (Which kept my son entertained for 30 minutes. 30. minutes.). I'm down 100 texts per month than in my last phone package so if I frequently texted you pointless things like, "I want some cheesecake and a Christian Bale movie to watch" that will now have to wait. I have to use my texts for important things like, "Who has a better french dip? Johnnie's or Arby's?"

As for actual Valentine's day, we were busy cleaning the pukes off of our daughter and ordering Chinese take out, thank you very much.

Friday, February 13, 2009

Last year I wrote a letter to my valentine and I thought this year, I would do the same.

Dear DVR,
I did not know it was possible to have this kind of love before you came into my life. You have freed me, DVR. No longer do I have to rush home to watch LOST. Gone are the days of watching shows I missed on the computer...or worse just trying to find a recap.

DVR, my children love you too. They can watch Elmo on demand. A Charlie Brown Christmas can be played until Valentines Day. And DVR, if my children are happy...well, then what else can I ask for?

In the days before you came into my life, if someone were to call me during, say, Idol, I would miss out on important information that I needed. Not anymore. I can pause, rewind and even fast forward though annoying Kay Jewelers commercials. You have helped me rekindle my relationship with my soap.

DVR, if I were to give you a conversation heart, it would say, "You Rock!" Yes, DVR, you do.

Love ya!
Ems

Tuesday, February 10, 2009

Guess what I got today?

If you guessed sweet nectar from heaven...you are right.

I also have it on good authority that the Samoa ice cream is to die for. But I have a general distrust of all vanilla based ice creams, so I don't know.

My youngest is in bed. My oldest has a bowl of grapes (that's right. he gets fruit. i get ice cream.) and a movie. So I'm going to put on my Thunder shirt and my penguin pajama pants, get a bowl of ice cream and watch American Idol on the DVR. Danyg Colin is a lucky guy.

Thursday, February 05, 2009

An entirely true story by Emily White.

This morning Cason woke up totally dry so it had been, what? 10 hours since he peed? So I'm sure his bladder is quite full. So when he woke up, we headed to the bathroom and he sat and the potty and proceeded to create a fountain, spraying at least two feet in the air and four feet out. I mean there was some serious arc. I grabbed the nearest towel (don't you want to come dry your hands at my house now?) and covered his parts and started laughing.

About that time Kendall walked in and slipped, face down, in the puddle of pee. I leaned over to pick her up, dropping the towel off of Cason. So the fountain resumed hitting Kendall smack in the center of her head.

I know I have a tendency to "exaggerate" or "over state" things. But please believe me when I say the girl had pee running down her head, down all over her face and down her neck. She was drenched, dripping in her brother's pee. She went straight into the bath.

And this has been another exciting episode of Notable Moments in Potty Training.

Wednesday, February 04, 2009

In case you were ever wondering what it is like to be a coach's wife, I thought I would share the dates of Colin's upcoming baseball season.

February 16, 17,18,19,20,21,23,24,25,26,27,28
March 2,3,4,5,6,7,9,10,11,12,13,18,19,20,21,23,24,25,26,27,28,30,31
April 1,2,3,4,6,7,8,9,11,13,14,15,16,17,18,20,21,22,23,24,25,27,28,29,30
May 1,2 and then playoffs start

I know, I know. Wallowing in misery is an ugly color on me. I just needed to get that off my chest. I'm fortunate to have a husband who loves his job and happens to be very, very good at it.

While I'm getting things off my chest, let me take a moment to address Jessica Alba's recent comments about contractions. And I quote: "Contractions aren't that bad. If you've ever had bad cramps? That's what they're like."

Jessica, I have spent a lot of time wondering why you are famous. Too much time, if you want to know. Your movies are terrible. You say stupid things to Bill O'Reilly. And you have stupid bangs. Please from now on keep your mouth shut before we, as a people, vote you off the planet.

Monday, February 02, 2009

Every now and then I look at my stat counter (although I'm not nearly as obsessed as I used to be). My favorite section is the Keyword Analysis, meaning what people type in a search engine that brings them to your blog. Tonight I had to laugh out loud at one of them.

"emily sick of potty training"

Yes, Emily is.

Sunday, February 01, 2009


Ok, so true story here.

Saturday we went to the zoo (again...if you would facebook me, you would know that). Since it was a lovely day and we had been cooped up, it made sense. That's right. Massive ice storm and two days later - 70 degrees!

Welcome to Oklahoma.

At the end of our zoo trip, we stopped by to see the lions one last time. It was just the four us, standing there looking at the lions. If you've ever been to the OKC zoo, you know there is a huge hill in the middle of the lion exhibit (and if you haven't been...well then you should). The three lions were standing on top of that hill playing when a man with a seeing eye dog walked up next to us. One of the lions (lionesses?) saw the dog and made a B-LINE down the hill and was stalking the dog. At this point, other people see what is going on and are starting to gather around the glass. But we are right next to the glass when the lion (again...lioness? someone help me here) starts pacing back and forth. All the sudden she stops, stares at my son (who had his nose pressed against the glass...of course) and then she bares her teeth, roars and takes a swipe at his head. Thank goodness for the six inches of plexi. It definitely scared the poo out of Cason though.

I'm considering hiring her to finish potty training Cason.

Credit goes to Colin for the picture.