Friday, August 21, 2009
I got an email from my friend Sarah this morning that made me laugh out loud (or LOL). It's just some dude's random thoughts. But I think we can all identify with some of them. Below are some of my favorites:
-I wish Google Maps had an "Avoid Ghetto" routing option.
-More often than not, when someone is telling me a story all I can think about is that I can't wait for them to finish so that I can tell my own story that's not only better, but also more directly involves me.
-Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you're wrong.
-Have you ever been walking down the street and realized that you're going in the complete opposite direction of where you are supposed to be going? But instead of just turning a 180 and walking back in the direction from which you came, you have to first do something like check your watch or phone or make a grand arm gesture and mutter to yourself to ensure that no one in the surrounding area thinks you're crazy by randomly switching directions on the sidewalk.
( I frequently do this at the mall....)
-That's enough, Nickelback.
-I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was younger.
-Is it just me, or are 80% of the people in the "people you may know"feature on Facebook people that I do know, but I deliberately choose not to be friends with?
-Do you remember when you were a kid, playing Nintendo and it wouldn't work? You take the cartridge out, blow in it and that would magically fix the problem. Every kid in America did that, but how did we all know how to fix the problem? There was no internet or message boards or FAQ's. We just figured it out. Today's kids are soft.
-There is a great need for sarcasm font. (YES! I always feel the need to italicize, or capitalize when I being sarcastic)
-I think everyone has a movie that they love so much, it actually becomes stressful to watch it with other people. I'll end up wasting 90 minutes shiftily glancing around to confirm that everyone's laughing at the right parts, then making sure I laugh just a little bit harder (and a millisecond earlier) to prove that I'm still the only one who really, really gets it. (I think this was my favorite one in the bunch...I so do this with Napoleon Dynamite and all the Christopher Guest movies)
-I would rather try to carry 10 plastic grocery bags in each hand than take 2 trips to bring my groceries in.
-The only time I look forward to a red light is when I’m trying to finish a text.
- LOL has gone from meaning, "laugh out loud" to "I have nothing else to say".
- I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger.
- Answering the same letter three times or more in a row on a Scantron test is absolutely petrifying.
- Whenever someone says "I'm not book smart, but I'm street smart", all I hear is "I'm not real smart, but I'm imaginary smart".
- How many times is it appropriate to say "What?" before you just nod and smile because you still didn't hear what they said? ( I say if I know the person well, 3. If not, 2.)
- MapQuest really needs to start their directions on #5. Pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.
-I can't remember the last time I wasn't at least kind of tired.
-If Carmen San Diego and Waldo ever got together, their offspring would probably just be completely invisible.
-Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after DVDs? I don't want to have to restart my collection.
-I'm always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten page research paper that I swear I did not make any changes to.
- "Do not machine wash or tumble dry" means I will never wash this ever.
-I hate being the one with the remote in a room full of people watching TV. There's so much pressure. 'I love this show, but will they judge me if I keep it on? I bet everyone is wishing we weren't watching this. It's only a matter of time before they all get up and leave the room. Will we still be friends after this?'
-I hate when I just miss a call by the last ring, but when I immediately call back, it rings nine times and goes to voice mail. What'd you do after I didn't answer? Drop the phone and run away?
- I hate leaving my house confident and looking good and then not seeing anyone of importance the entire day. What a waste.
-I like all of the music in my iTunes, except when it's on shuffle,then I like about one in every fifteen songs in my iTunes. ( I often say I have iTunes ADD)
-I keep some people's phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call. (I admit I do this. A lot. I mean, not to you, I like you.)
-Even if I knew your social security number, I wouldn't know what do to with it.
-The other night I ordered takeout, and when I looked in the bag, saw they had included four sets of plastic silverware. In other words,someone at the restaurant packed my order, took a second to think about it, and then estimated that there must be at least four people eating to require such a large amount of food. Too bad I was eating by myself.
12 comments:
Em, I don't normally comment on your blog (mostly because you can't comment from Google Reader and I'm lazy) but I had to make the trek over to let you know this is freaking hilarious. Especially the one about maps online. If they think people can't get out of their own neighborhood they should start with things like '1. Put on Sweatpants'. (People who get lost in their own neighborhoods generally wear sweatpants.)
This might be the funniest thing I've read in a while--and that's including my own material. SO FUNNY!
This was one of the funniest things I have read in awhile. Thanks for that. I found myself laughing at every single line!
I really needed to read that at the end of the work week. I have been snickering to myself in my office for the past ten minutes. Is it strange that I agree or think I have thought every single one of those thoughts before? The scantron one is so true...and yes, so terrifying!
I just have to say thank you. Our system is down at work and this blog just saved our department from 30 minutes twiddling our thumbs before our weekend starts.
IS it just me or did anyone else want to call Emily to see if she picked up the phone? What just me....be honest.
This one is too funny. I, being close to an antique person, cracked up at the not hearing remark.
Thanks.
Helen
Ginny said to head over here and man was it worth it. You are so right about the TV watching thing and favorite movie thing. SOOOO much pressure, I can't do it anymore, I always give the remote to other people, stop judging me people!
Oh my gosh, that was great......all I have to say. And I love you.
Those of us who were heavily invested in videos are not in any way sympathetic to all of you who only own DVD's. Suck it up and reinvest. Oh, and totally on board with the Mapquest thing. I've also wondered why they don't say "Put it in reverse and back out of your driveway..."
found your post via Ginny, thanks for the laugh!!
I used to have a special ringtone for "special" people....I just never answered that little dity!!
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