Friday, October 31, 2008

Thanks for the inspiration for my title, Jess.

The kids and I went to the mall today. Always a good time. First of all, I found a dress for Kendall that was so unbelievably adorable at Gymboree. And she already had brown velvet mary janes (thanks Granny Beth!) that match it perfectly. But I could not bring myself to spend 40$ on a dress for her. Although I may go back and get it. I mean, it is gorgeous. But, of course, then I would have to buy a bow to match it. Sigh. Anyone have Gym Bucks they would love to loan me? I will take this opportunity to say that a few weeks ago, I spent $40 on an outfit for her but it was actually three separate pieces that can all be worn separately so I felt better about that (side note: I bought that outfit to match a bow that I purchased for her. So I spent 40 bucks on an outfit to match a bow that cost me $3.50. Shut up, I have a disease.) Plus, will I be able to find Cason anything that matches a brown velvet dress where he will look cool and not like Little Lord Fauntleroy?

We ate lunch at the mall, and we sat next to a man dressed as a woman. No, not for Halloween. Just ... because. He was definitely a man and he was definitely wearing women's clothes. He was also carrying a Hello Kitty purse. Which I found to be the most puzzling thing about the whole situation. I mean, if you, your whole life wanted to wear women's clothes, and finally you said, "To heck with it" and you started dressing like a woman, would a Hello Kitty purse be the first bag you would choose to carry? I mean, wouldn't you want to go with Coach or Brighton or something of that nature?

Discuss amongst yourselves.

Wednesday, October 29, 2008

Tuesday, October 28, 2008


I had bunco at my house last night. The plan was for Colin to come get the kids between 3:30 and 4 and go...well I don't know where but I really didn't care as long as they weren't here (I have my priorities straight). At 3:30 I get a phone call from Colin.

He's on his way to the ER.

Of course.

We should really have an ER discretionary fund built into our budget.

Let me just say straight out that my husband is quite the handy man. I really am very lucky. He had been building some stuff for the baseball team. Long story short, he fought the table saw and the table saw won. It always does.

Thank heavens for in laws who came to get my kids, because heaven knows I wasn't going to play bunco with them around. The kids, not my in laws.

He still has a finger. Barely. It's his middle one so he hopefully with a little rehab he'll be back to flippin the bird in no time.

But I'm not going to lie, internet. It's going to be ugly. I was asking Colin today how ugly. He told me I was awfully concerned about the appearance of his finger and wondered if he should start looking for a new wife. I told him, we'd see what his finger looked like first.

You can follow this link to check out pictures of his fingers.

Ok, Colin added the last part with the link without my knowledge. If you like gory movies, then by all means look at the pictures. But if you like happy things with flowers and butterflies or if you ever want to eat again, do not follow the link.

Sunday, October 26, 2008

Shut up. I said, almost.

I'm hoping that by admitting it, I will come to terms with the reality that I am no longer 17 and therefore have no reason to text constantly (Seriously, have you ever stood behind a group of high schoolers at a basketball game? They are all staring at their phones.) Colin added a text package to our phones, so now I can text guilt free. I mean, why call someone when texting is so much more impersonal? I find myself texting pointless things like, "I just ate an entire piece of Godiva Chocolate Cheesecake. By myself." (Sorry Jess. But really, is that pointless?)

Texting used to make me feel old. I felt like the fad had totally passed me by. I was like one of those grumpy people who say, "Why in the blazes would anyone need a cell phone? Or for that matter an answering machine? If it's important, they'll call back!" Once my brother texted me and I texted him back and said, "quit texting me. you owe me 50 cents now."

True story: One of Colin's students and our former babysitter set the national record for texts in one month: 6,000.

In college, we all had laptops. Me and my bff (Hi Lindsay!) would be having a converstation with someone, and we would be IMing back and forth things about that person. While we were talking with them. Things like:

turtlespeed81: what is going through her head.
mle6181: i dont' know know. she is redonkulous.
turtlespeed81: I wish she would leave
mle6181: seriously. go away.

See, we were so nice. All of that to say, I haven't figured out how to text someone about a person I am currently having a conversation with. I suppose I could quit talking about people in general. But I'm among friends here so let's face it, that's probably not going to happen.

Friday, October 24, 2008

Do you know what happens when your out having a good time with your girls? It may be very likely that you will start receiving comments on your blog from a post you never made. So you look at your blog and realize that your husband posted something without you knowing it.

I guess fresh off his first ever blog comment regarding this post ( sidenote: a big THANK YOU to all my sistas who are feeling me...although I'm told whatever disease Colin has is similar to the one that I have that prohibits me from putting gas in the car or learning how to drive a stick shift), Colin felt the need to post. So the last post regarding Cason's halloween costume was not made by me. Although if you know me well, you probably could have guessed that because there was no saracasatic remarks made.

I got tagged a few days back to post the sixth picture in my sixth folder. So I looked at it and it was a pre-children photograph of me and Colin. I think we were getting ready to go out for Valentine's day. Internet, I love you all but that picture of me was so terrible, it will never be seeing the light of day as far as I'm concerned. So, I made my own rules (I'm a teacher, I can do that). I closed my eyes and scrolled through all of my pictures and then clicked on a totally random one. And this is what I got:

Awww....wook at deh wittle bitty bahbee.....

Thursday, October 23, 2008


Wednesday, October 22, 2008

Why is it that when men do the dishes they don't clean the counter tops and the bits of food off the sink? Is this not included in "doing the dishes?" Is it something medical that the male eye cannot see (much like shoes on the floor and light bulbs that have gone out)? If so, it should be studied by the New England Journal of medicine. It really is the oddest thing. Maybe it's the same medical condition that keeps them from smelling a dirty diaper or hearing a baby in the night. Please explain....I'm waiting.

Tuesday, October 21, 2008

This (I don't think it's this exact one, but it's close)and these (I don't think that's right either...but whatever they are, they are dayng good sheets). They have changed my sleeping life forever. Thanks Dad!

Archer Farms pretzels from Target. It's a carb lovers dream. Or nightmare depending on how you look at it.

These pants, in black and brown and in a petite. AMAZING! The cost? $30. The cost for two when it is buy one get one half off? $45. The cost for two when you have a coupon? $30. The cost when you're beautiful mom gets them for you? Free. Thanks Mom!

Green sauce at a Mexican restaurant. Seriously, Oklahoma. Look into it.

Things I am not currently loving:

You know what's worse than an eight hour car trip with two young kids? An eight hour car trip with two young kids when you have a stomach virus. Tim, I seriously hope I did not pass this on to you or your adorable wife and children when I hugged you on Sunday. I HATE being sick.

You want to hear something kind of funny? Tonight we were eating at Qdoba (obviously the stomach thing is over) and this lady was leaving with her probably one and half year old daughter. The daughter went to the door and the mom was like ten feet behind her. The mom started screaming, "EMMA! EMMA! NO!" At the top of her lungs. She then threw (THREW!) her to go food in the air and ran to her daughter. Everyone in the restaurant was staring. And all because Little Emma opened the door like four inches. I guess Mom thought she was going to run out. But Colin and I died laughing, because in our opinion, she overreacted just slightly.

Monday, October 20, 2008

Kendall had her ten month birthday today. I keep checking dates, thinking we are wrong somewhere and she really isn't ten months old. I keep waiting for the doctor to call and say, "Why did you bring her in for nine month check up? She's only seven months old!" It just doesn't seem real. We celebrated in style at Johnnie's, with her great grandmother who was celebrating her real birthday. The birthday princesses shared a bowl of vegetable soup.

People always say my kids look a lot alike. It's hard for me to tell, because they're my kids. I think they look alike NOW, but maybe not as babies. But after comparing these pictures, I may have to reconsider. Here they are ten months to the day:



I dunno. Thoughts?

Sunday, October 19, 2008

And I'm sick.

The end.

Pics and deets to follow.

Tuesday, October 14, 2008

We're going to Tejas tomorrow. I'm so pumped to spend eight whole hours of non-stop joy and laughter filled travel time in the car. Kendall has requested a rousing game of 'I Spy' and Cason has picked out his favorite musical soundtracks (My Fair Lady, Hello Dolly and Man of LaMancha) to have a sing-along. Colin is pumped.


You detect sarcasm in my voice? That's odd.

So long as we keep the Disney on ( Dear Walt Disney: Wherever ye may be, I tip my hat to thee.) and the juice flowing, hopefully we will arrive in one piece.

There's a good chance I won't post while we're gone. So I'll leave you with a list of why I'm excited for cooler weather and the changing season:
1. I can quit shaving my legs, armpits and any other subsequent hairy parts. Dang, Colin is a lucky man, y'all.
2. I can quit painting my toenails.
3. Two words - Bulky sweaters. I suck in no more, my friends.
4. As much as I love working up a sweat just getting the kids in the car before I even leave, it will be nice to scream, "Get in the car, it's friggin cold!" instead of, "Get in the car, it's friggin hot!"
5. I look forward to starting my car on cold mornings and locking my keys inside. That's how you know it's really the holiday season.
6. Five words: Other people cooking holiday dinner.

What? You thought I was going to say some yack about how I love pumpkins?

Monday, October 13, 2008

It's cool to wear your paci upside down now. It's similar to the criss-cross 'wear your clothes backwards' trend of the early 90's. This is going to set the pacifier fashion world on fire.

Thursday, October 09, 2008

The culprit:

You can tell she's up to something:

It could be a challenging 18 years for her father and me.

Monday, October 06, 2008

How can you be sure that you've passed your love of all things chocolate down to your daughter?

I'll let the pictures speak for themselves.

This is how we found her Saturday morning, eating a cookie that she had found:

"What, guys?"

"Seriously, what, y'all?"

"Just let me eat my cookie in peace."

I don't know anyone else that can get so messy eating a cookie. Ok, maybe one other person:

So the lesson here is: If your kids are being really, REALLY quiet, don't think they're being good. Think they're up to something.

Friday, October 03, 2008

How do you know when you have too much stuff in your garage?


When you clean it out and someone drives up, gets out of their car and starts looking at your stuff because they think you are having a garage sale.

Wednesday, October 01, 2008

Scene: Last night, while I was watching DWTS results (because I'm that cool)

Colin: Is that Brooke Burke?
Me: Yes.
Colin: She looks different for some reason.
Me: Can you believe she's had four kids?
Colin: Really? (Pause) Why don't you look like that? You've only had two kids.
Me: Yeah, well, Brad Pitt has six kids and you don't look like him.