Friday, August 29, 2008

It's a great day to be a Republican woman.

But John McCain? Making your announcement during The Young and the Restless? So not cool.

Wednesday, August 27, 2008

Yesterday, I just had Kendall with me. I walked out to my car, and put Kendall in her car seat. I got in the driver's seat and turned the car on and began to pull out. I then realized I had put Kendall in Cason's car seat. His blue plaid, forward facing, upright sitting car seat.

I need sleep.

Sunday, August 24, 2008

First of all, thanks for all the kind thoughts, comments, emails regarding Kendall. She's fine.

Approximately 10 seconds after I said that I would be trying to keep her out of the ER this weekend, she was pulled up on the coffee table. For some reason, she thought, "I think I can stand!" and let go. She can't stand. At all. So she fell and landed on her arm. And she hollered pretty good but then she seemed find so I went on about my business (you know, my business of obsessing over celebrity babies (Zuma Nesta? What?) and wondering whether or not Christian Bale is hot (is)). Then I realized that she couldn't crawl on it. She would try to put her arm down and fall. Or slip. Or try to crawl holding her left arm up, using only the right arm to crawl. Which, FYI, doesn't work.

So I put in a call to her pedi. I'll take this opportunity to say that I have nothing but love for the woman. She's been nothing but great to my kids. I expected her to say something along the lines of, "If it's still bothering her tomorrow, bring her to the Saturday clinic." Instead I got, "I think you need to take her to the ER immediately." Uh, excuse moi? I wanted to ask if she had the 100 dollar copay to go along with that suggestion. I protested to the point where the doc said that her medical adivce to me was to go to the ER and get xrays and that if I didn't do that, I would be against medical advice, meaning that if it needed any further care, that would be on my dime. Fine, Medical Community! You win! You always do!

Colin was running a tournament so my wonderful WONDERFUL father in law met me down there to watch Cason. Of course there were massive amounts of people there. They actually called us into triage pretty quickly and then put us in a room in the ER pretty quickly. And a doctor and the x-ray techs came in quickly and at that point, I thought we would be out of there in no time. But then the time it took for the doctor to come back in after the x-rays was f-o-r-e-v-e-r. And at that point it was me and Kendall in a little white sterile room and I am doing everything I can to keep her and myself occupied. I was thinking, "Man I wish I had twitter and a PDA." At this point my FIL had taken Cason across the street to eat a dinner of frappucinos (decaf) and carrot cake. Frappucinos and carrot cake for dinner? You see why I love this family. The doctor finally came back in to let me know what I already knew in the first place: Nothing was broken. There was a little swelling, meaning possibly a deep muscle bruise or something along those lines. They did give her a pretty heavy dose of pain medication, which made her sleep great.

So there you have it.

Sometime later I will post all the funny things that I saw while I waited to get into the ER...because, folks, there was a lot.

Friday, August 22, 2008

So, yeah. Remember this? Read the last line. Go, ahead. I'll wait.

Guess where we ended up about thirty minutes after that?

I'm not lying. You can't make this stuff up folks.

I'm too tired to post the whole story now. But Kendall is fine and nothing is bleeding or broken.

The same cannot be said for medical bureaucracy.

So Kendall has been crawling and pulling up on things for a couple of weeks. This week, she started "cruising" around things. Today, I walked into the living room and this is how I found her:


So, of course, I immediately grabbed my camera.

I have my priorities straight.

I have no idea how she got up there. Heaven help us. She's eight months old people! Granted, those ring toys are pretty stinkin cool. And not even a foot stool would hold her back.

And just to prove that my children do, occasionally wear clothes:


Look, aren't they cute and all matchy-matchy in their Astros shirts?

I hope everyone has a great weekend. I'll be busy trying to keep my daughter out of the ER.

Wednesday, August 20, 2008

This is only one of the many reasons why I'm not having any more children.

Tuesday, August 19, 2008

In the car, pouring down rain, racing to get where I'm going on time, at a red light, these words were yelled out loud:

"Let's go! Oh come on!"

...by my two and a half year old.

Thanks God. Got the message. It wasn't subtle, was it?

Monday, August 18, 2008

Turn and face the strange
Ch Ch Changes
Don't wanna be a richer man
Ch Ch Ch Ch Changes

What?

Oh hi, sorry. I forgot what I was doing. Where was I? Oh, yeah. Changes. So after me discussing Cason's pre-school here and here (and possibly here as well), it was all for naught. He's going this week and that will probably be it. No, we didn't get mad at the baptists. Last Tuesday (while Cason was at his first day of pre-school), I got a phone call out of nowhere. I was offered a job teaching at the pre-school at our church. So after much thoughtful consideration, Colin and I decided that would be the best thing for our family right now. Both kids will go with me, two days a week. I am going to hate being away from Kendall those five hours BUT the director assured me that I can nurse her whenever I need to, and hold her if I want to. It's a very laid back atmosphere. And it will give our budget some much needed wiggle room. So yay for that. I'm very excited to do something different. And I'm happy that Cason will be at a place where people know and love him.

So there you go. Also, do you love my new layout? I hope you do because it involved much blood sweat and tears. Not really. Those of you that know my husband, know that once he puts his mind to something (like, turning my blog into three columns) there is no stopping him. Which is why when I asked him the other night at 11pm if he knew how to make a favicon (the little heart up there next my blog name), he GOT OUT OF BED to figure it out. And there you are. Poof. I have a heart icon now. It's heart because my website is 'the heart of life.' Get it? I'm sure you do. I'll shut up now.

Saturday, August 16, 2008

Do you ever wake up and you JUST KNOW it's going to be a bad hair day?

Friday, August 15, 2008

Suzanne Winn, you are my hero!

Thursday, August 14, 2008

Well, after a few weeks of practice crawling, Kendall decided this past weekend that she's had enough and started speed crawling. The following is a list of things I have found in her mouth:

-Various flavored potato chips crumbs
- A mouthful of goldfish crackers ( and I mean FULL)
- A macaroni and cheese noodle (she has a dairy allergy)
- A straw wrapper
- A receipt
- A Finding Nemo band-aid (ew, right Mel?)
- A hair bow I thought we lost three months ago
- A paci I haven't seen since Cason was a baby
- A propeller off of Cason's toy helicopter from Cars (um, yeah...I'm sure there's NO lead in that)
- Dog hair (and a lot of it)
- price tag from a piece of clothing

The one saving grace is that she doesn't like to crawl in the kitchen because it hurts her knees. When she finally does go in the kitchen...well, the dog better guard her food.

I mean I guess I should vacuum but that would take away from other important activities. Like following c-list celebrity pregnancies and wondering whether or not Braum's is going to have out their brownie batter ice cream. Because if they don't, it's just not even worth the trip.

Tuesday, August 12, 2008

So have you noticed my blog is being stupid? I don't know what's going on. I live with Colin the web genius and even after hours of study, he can't figure it out.

I will be open and honest with all of you. The problem is my blog, not Blogger. Somehow, it will not allow a picture to be put at the top anymore. Thoughts? I may have to stop this blog and go to a new site altogether. But I assure each and every one of my four faithful readers (hi Mom!) that if I do go to a new site, I will take all of you with me. But let's pray it doesn't come to that. Actually don't pray about that for real. I'm sure that God doesn't want to be bothered with HTML Blogger issues.

Hey, you know what internet people? If you blog about wanting something, like an iTunes gift card, per say, some cool person might send you one. And that will make you very happy. And then your husband can say, "NOW will you stop complaining?" And you can say, "Only about not having an iTunes gift card."

Thanks Cool Person (you know who you are)! I promise to pass on the kindness to someone else.

Monday, August 11, 2008

So I won a gym membership.

I know...and laughter and hilarity ensue.

But anyway, I won. So now I have a gym membership. Sort of. Only for a month. It was that or take a yearly membership at a discounted price. Which I would have loved to do, however our monthly budget is tighter than a gnat's rear end. Who knows if I'll even go. It goes against my general rule of thumb...which is not to do activities that make me sweat. The guy that I'll be working with (Yay! I also won a personal trainer! (to be read sarcastically)), Scott, is really nice. He knows my husband. Of course. He asked me about my fitness goals. It went a little something like this:

Scott: So what are your fitness goals?
Me: Well, I would like to lose -insert amount of weight here- to get back to my pre-baby weight.
S: Ok. When would you like to do that by?
Me: Tomorrow's good.
S: (courtesy laughing) Ok. Why do you want to lose this weight?
Me: Uh, to fit into my clothes again. Duh.

I mean it's not like I'm sitting around waiting for SHAPE magazine to call me for a photo shoot (unless they're doing an 'All Stretch Mark' issue, in which case I'M IN!). I guess poor Scott thought I was actually interested in getting healthy or something. Silly Scott.

I'll let you know how it goes. Either that or we will never speak of this gym membership again.

Friday, August 08, 2008

What do you think, Audrey? When I saw your post, I had to laugh and air my dirty laundry for everyone. I think everyone else should post what the back seat of their car looks like. Unless it's clean, in which case I have no desire to see it and I hate you.

By the way, check back Monday for an account of me and fitness gym. I know. What? It should be good. Until then, I leave you with this:



Wednesday, August 06, 2008

Cason starts preschool next week. Tomorrow night, we have an open house. And so here are my neuroses on display for you:

Ok, all of his school supplies are together. I put his initials on the glue sticks instead of his full name. Should I have done that? Why did I do that? Is it that much more difficult to write his name? Now his teacher will hate him. They will be looking at a glue stick thinking,"Ok, is this Cason's or the other kids' with those initials?" I'm an idiot. And I shouldn't have gotten him two sets of pencils. Why did I listen to his dad? I know better than to come with things that aren't asked for. Am I supposed to bring his supplies to Open House or the first day? The pamphlet says the first day, but wouldn't it be easier to bring them to Open House? What if I bring them to Open House and feel stupid? I'm going to call. I'll leave them in the car and send Colin out to get them if that's what everyone else is doing. No, I'm not going to call. Oh my gosh. I'm a hovercraft parent. What the heck? How did I become a hovercraft parent? I'm so going to call and just ask them. The list says to bring a change of clothes including underwear. Underwear?! I can't get him to sit on a potty much less wear underwear. Are they expecting him to be potty trained? What if they are and then I have to pull him out because he's not potty trained? I'm definitely calling them to ask about the diaper policy. No, I'm not going to call. That's dumb. And besides, I'm not a hovercraft. But what if do something stupid and then his teachers won't like him. I mean, we have to impress. These are baptists. But they're in friggin Del City. Get over yourselves Baptists...you're in Del City. Should he bring his red backpack with his name monogrammed on it, or the one the school sent him in the mail? Aw, that was so sweet that the Baptists sent him a backpack. Did they send it to everyone or to people they think need help? What if they think we can't afford to get him a backpack and that's why they sent it? I'm so going to call. Should I get his name monogrammed on the backpack they sent? His blanket has his name monogrammed so do I still have to label it? I have sticker name labels for him. Is that enough or do I need to write it in Sharpie in case the label falls off? Ok, I'm not calling. That's retarded. But how many diapers should I bring? I'm so calling.

It's really exhausting being me.

Tuesday, August 05, 2008

Child's haircut: $12.00
Second haircut because he wouldn't sit for the first one: free
Gas to take child to second haircut: $5.50
Lollipops eaten by child getting first haircut: 7
Lollipops eaten by child getting second haircut: 14
Items brought to bribe child into getting second haircut: 6
Items brought to bribe child into getting second haircut that involve sugar/caffeine:5
People it took to cut child's hair the second time: 3
Hours it took out of Mom's life 4.5

Rockin' a new 'do for school: Priceless


Either way, it was just too much Kendall.

Monday, August 04, 2008

And I'm not afraid to say it!

See, we have an unspoken rule around these parts. Both parties have to agree on a song to download it. Ok, not really (because I seriously doubt Colin would ever agree to anything on the Falling Slowly soundtrack or the entire Obadiah Parker album and I would never agree to anything Sara Evans...and yet here we are) . But we don't just download with reckless abandon either. If we did that, we would forget we had certain songs and download them more than once. Which I may or may not have done.

I mean, we have some freedom. You don't get an iTunes library with over four days worth of content by sitting on your laurels, folks.

But then there is the whole giftcard issue. In the past three years, there has rarely been a time when Colin did not have an iTunes giftcard in his possession. Whether through birthday or Christmas, or whatever, he always seems to have one. And the rule is...if it's your giftcard, you get to download whatever the heck you want, throw caution to the wind and disregard the other's musical taste. Which is fine. If you're Colin. How many iTunes giftcards have I received? None. Zero. Zilch. Nada. I KNOW! Sniff. Tear. Wipe it away. And Colin just leaves out his giftcard, taunting me. Whenever I get giftcards it always to a clothing or makeup store. Which, don't get me wrong, I love. But sometimes a girl wants to download a Patty Loveless song from 1994 without having to answer for it! I don't want a huge giftcard, just a small one. Just one for my little hands to look at and love on a little bit before I run off and spend it all on Rump Shaker, some Jack Johnson, and maybe a little Coldplay thrown in (eclectic, yes?).

So there you go. There's two confessions for you. I have never been given an iTunes giftcard and I want to download Rump Shaker. Go ahead. Search for it in the iTunes store. You'll want to download it too.