Thursday, May 29, 2008

Worst first pitch ever?  Possibly.  It's good to see Mariah dressing age appropriate though.  

Wednesday, May 28, 2008

So I COULD tell you what a great Memorial Day weekend we had.  

I COULD spend time telling funny stories about Cason in a pool...oy.  

I COULD say that judging from the comments in my last post, I am doomed to have a kid who screams in the car for forever (and you're all thinking, "AND you're never going to get a big cup from Panera! Ha! So there!).  

But I won't.  

Because it's more fun to tell you about how I went to the store on Saturday and came home to find Colin working on the air conditioner.  You know, the air conditioner?  The one that makes the house livable?  The thing that makes the house cool enough so that we don't have the urge to kill each other?  The thing that creates and sustains all life?  Okay, maybe I'm overstating  a little.

So the AC was ba-roke.  And as it turns out, those guys that fix those aren't to eager to come fix them on HOLIDAY WEEKENDS.  So we moved in with the in laws for the weekend.  

We got it fixed yesterday.  For $75.  

So what DID we do for Memorial Day?  It involved lots of eating, I'll tell you that much.  

Colin and I had the following conversation last night:

Colin:  Who is this person, Julliane Hough?  She has two top songs on I-Tunes.  

Emily:  She's that blonde from Dancing with the Stars that was Apollo's partner a few seasons ago.  I haven't heard any of her songs but I heard she can sing good.  

C:  So, she's actually a dancer by trade?  

E: Did you just say, "by trade"?  

C:  Yeah, what's wrong with that?  

And I just died laughing.  Because who ever uses the term, "by trade"? 

Friday, May 23, 2008

Does anyone have one of these, whether it be a child or a spouse?  Cason, for all of his...uh...I'll say "nuances", has always been pretty good in the car, save the occasional fit.  He goes pretty seamlessly from car to stroller and back.  Then there's my daughter.  I wouldn't say she's laid back, but she's definitely not, er, "intense" as her brother.  But for some reason she HATES riding in the car, and has from day two, when she had her first car ride.  Last night, I was coming home from the in-laws.  They live 20 minutes away and Kendall screamed from the minute I put her in the car until we got home and I put her in bed.  The entire way home.  The. Entire.  Way.  Home.  She seems to do better if she can see someone, like her brother.  But at night, forget about it.  I usually end up sitting back there with her.  The problem is when I am by myself.  I find it difficult to drive and sit in the backseat.  Any suggestions for what to do with a car screamer?  It will make our two trips to Houston and St. Louis (don't hate on my awesome vacations) interesting.  

And I'm sorry but what do I have to do to get a big, clear, plastic cup at Panera?  I know they have them, I've seen them.  I've seen people drinking out of them.  I've asked for them and they still give me those stinkin' little styrofoam cups.  I want a big, plastic cup for my iced tea and I'm not afraid to say it!!  If you know how, if there's some code that I'm missing out on, please do tell.  

Thursday, May 22, 2008

A dangerous question to ask in my home.

Date: Monday Night
Situation: We had the baseball banquet. Colin and I were looking forward to a kid free evening.
What Could Go Wrong: We lost power for FIVE HOURS. Right after I got out of the shower so I could not blow dry or straighten my hair. Neat. I said it here before. If someone farts too loud in our neighborhood, we lose power. When we lost power back in December (I know, I know...LET THE ICE STORM GO, EMILY!!!) Colin and I managed to form a "team" mentality, rarely if ever, fighting during the eleven day duration. When we lost power on Monday, we managed to go a whole 15 minutes before wanting to club the other one in the head. After I informed Colin that I would in NO WAY be going with wet hair, we got in the car and headed over to my sister-in-law's house to get ready. And you know what else went wrong? The dress I wore. I bought for something last summer. You know, last summer when I wasn't breastfeeding anyone? When the girls were a lot smaller? When I put the dress on, I was, uh, busty at best, Pam Anderson at worst. But could I change? No, remember the aforementioned power outage? I only took one dress to my SIL's house, so that was it.

Date: Wednesday Night
Situation: Colin had a summer ball game. I was taking the kids to church but went to Chick fil A for dinner first.
What could go wrong: We were done eating (DONE EATING! THAT'S HOW CLOSE WE WERE TO LEAVING!). I was gathering our trash and Cason saw a fry on the ground and heaven forbid, he let it go to waste. In his defense, those are some dang good waffle fries. When he reached for it, under the table, he fell off the booth and landed head down on the tile floor. He immediately went into what we call the "silent cry." When he finally did let out a breath, and subsequently a scream, it was a sound only recognizable to dogs. The group of teenage boys next to us were amazed at the amplitude to which his voice could reach. When I got C in a position to look at his head, I almost passed out. He had a goose egg. The size of a goose egg. And it was sticking up AN INCH off his head. AN INCH PEOPLE. OFF HIS HEAD. I gathered the kids up, left my iced tea on the table (grrr) and headed out to the car. I saw someone I used to be good friends with that I hadn't seen since I was pregnant with Cason as I was leaving. I would have loved to talk to her, but it really wasn't the best time, and she had her two small children by herself also. Our conversation went something like this:

Oh my gosh! Hi!
Injured child!
Bratty kids!
Baby not happy in car seat!
Good to see you!

We got in the car and Cason was fine, albeit nasty looking. I called his doctor and the only thing was we had to wake him up every couple of hours last night. Not hard since he usually wakes up every couple of hours. Needless to say, we didn't make it to church. And it was really a shame because, for once, all three of us were looking cute. And no one even got to see us.

Tuesday, May 20, 2008

Sunday, May 18, 2008

So I've discovered my true calling in life.  Life coach.  After looking at several other possibilities, I've decided that it is truly my destiny.  My fate.  I just need to reach out and grab it..take hold of my dream and turn it into reality.  

See?  Doesn't that seem like something a life coach would say.  

The other night, I mentioned this to Colin and we had the following conversation:

Colin:  A life coach?  You can't even help "person who will remain nameless but that desperately needs my help" out.  

Emily:  Yeah, well, if "person who will remain nameless but that desperately needs my help" had listened to me, he/she wouldn't be in the situation that he/she is in now.  In fact that goes for a lot of people.  

C: Like who?

E:  Well, there's also, "person who will also remain nameless but that also needs my help" and "another person who will remain nameless that also desperately needs my help."  And if all three of these people would have listened to me, they would all be better off.  In fact, there is a lot of people that need my help.  They need to listen to what I have to say and there life would be better.  A lot better.  All of their dreams could come true.  

So, if you're looking for a life coach, let me know.  I can totally get in your head and show you how your inner dialogue needs to change in order to attain the life you imagined for yourself.  

See?  I, like, totally sound the part.  

Thursday, May 15, 2008

I looked at my son tonight and I realized something.  

He has been wearing the same shirt since Tuesday.  And there is a good chance he will be wearing it tomorrow.  

That's all.  

Wednesday, May 14, 2008

Well, it's done. My baby officially starts preschool in the fall. We got him all signed up today and he has a spot reserved. When I first floated the idea of school past Colin, he thought the only reason I wanted to sign the boy up was so I could get away from him once a week. And just between you and me, there was some truth in that, although I denied it ("No! It's, like, all for his development...and stuff." ). The thought of running errands with one kid is appealing. As is the thought that if I want to meet a friend for lunch, I only have to drag one kiddo along. You get the idea. I can make Kendall's doctor's appointments on days when Cason is gone....possibly clean my house...hopefully he'll have a poopy diaper at school instead of home... the possibilities are endless.

But then, after he was enrolled, and I had both kids loaded and back in the car, I shed a few tears to myself. Because my baby isn't a baby anymore. He's like all little boy-ish and stuff.

But the moment was short lived as my "baby" is running two toy tractors over my feet at this very minute. And his diaper stinks. Bring on August, baby.

Monday, May 12, 2008

Here are some pictures we took of the kids yesterday. Yes, you are allowed to think I have the most beautiful children of all time. No, you may not have them. At least the girl. Make me an offer on the boy and we'll talk. Actually, the girl slept terrible last night so maybe we can work out a two for one deal or something.

Saturday, May 10, 2008

Y'all know me. You know I can't let this go by unnoticed. I think my dislike for this family is well documented on this blog. But you know what? I'm not going to talk about them today. I'm not going to talk about the fact that a) It's not right to keep having children and make the older ones look after the younger ones, b) her uterus is now big enough to drive a VW bus into, c) my friend Sara thinks over population is a real problem..and I tend to agree, especially when there are kids who need homes and d) tater tot casserole looks like it would cause diarrhea.

Instead I want to tell you what I think real achievement is. Achievement is the single mom going working and going school to make her kids' lives better. Achievement is giving a child a home through adoption. Achievement is the woman with three kids who's husband is in Iraq. It's also the mom who is in Iraq and the mom who listens to her child say he or she is joining the military. It's parents dealing with a sick or disabled child who continue to praise God. Achievement is all that and so much more. It's all of us just trying to muddle along in parenting and having no idea what we are doing.

Congratulations Michelle Duggar, you're fertile. To everyone else, keep doing what you're doing and we'll pray our children will love us through it all.

Couple of sidenotes:
1. I know I have kind of been up on a lot of soapboxes lately. I'll try to quit that. I blame it on my lack of chocolate turnovers, recently.

2. Do not leave a rude comment regarding my feelings for the Duggar family.

Wednesday, May 07, 2008

Star Jones and I rarely agree on anything. We agree that fried chicken and cream gravy is DANYG good, but other than that, nothing. Until today.

In her recent memoir, Audition, Barbara Walters recounts an affair that she had with a then-Senator. Now, if she wants to write about it in her book, that's her business. But it seems that that is all anyone has talked about when it comes to her memoirs. Even on that beacon of journalism show, The View, the ladies were laughing and discussing whether or not Barbara was technically a mistress. I was thinking, "Uh, I have a word for her."

Star had some choice words for Barbara. She said, "It's a sad day when an icon like Barbara Walters, in the sunset of her life, is reduced to publicly branding herself as an adulterer, humiliating an innocent family with accounts of her illicit affair...all for the sake of selling a book." Thanks Star. For once, I couldn't have said it better myself.

The Mariah Carey/Nick Cannon divorce watch in ON!

Monday, May 05, 2008

Dear Tom:
The American Academy of Pediatrics strongly recommends no bottles after the age of one. Suri is now two, correct? I thought you would know that. You seem to know everything else....
Love ya!

Sunday, May 04, 2008

"Daddy Water"

And he can drink all the daddy water he wants. As long as Daddy is the one staying up with him.

Thursday, May 01, 2008

I swear, Oklahoma has the wackiest weather. We were sitting in a restaurant, enjoying some excellent Mexican food with friends, when we heard that there was a storm headed our way. I guess when you hear that it should be translated, "Scream! Run! Stay put! Hide! Drive home immediately at the fastest speed possible! Don't freak out! Panic!"

By the time we got home, it was raining. Ten minutes later it was hailing, to say the least. You know what's always fun? When the kids over at channel 5 weather are yelling your address as the center of the storm. That's the second time that happened this year.

Colin's windshield got cracked in about six places before we got his truck inside. That's neat. Our roof is shot. Also neat.

I know some of you that just started reading this blog are thinking, "Wow, that's pretty bad for Colin and Emily." You have no idea. You can read about some of our other weather adventures here, here, and here. Oh, and here. Those that have been reading for awhile are thinking, "Shut up about the friggin ice storm already."

Anyway, here are some lovely pictures from the evenings activities:

Wow, that's crazy looking.

If we saved them, could Colin use them as golf balls?

Wow, that's crazy. Shut up, I know I said that already. It's just, wow... isn't that CRAZY?!

Wow, isn't that....well, crazy again? Stop laughing at me...I'm not a dang English major, y'all.

And now you can all go about your day feeling sorry for us that we have to put up with this weather. Go ahead. Feel bad for us. If you feel badly enough to donate to our "new windshield fund," we have a pay pal account and you may feel free to put some money in it.