Thursday, January 31, 2008

I was tagged by Jess. Thanks a lot. But I guess she did stand and talk to me the other night while I was changing possibly the World's Nastiest, Stinkiest Diaper. That, people, is friendship.

I have to list either 5 random things about myself or 5 places I'd like to visit or visit again or5 things I never thought I'd do before 25. Since I'm not that far removed from 25 (don't hate) and I could never narrow down what I want to see to just 5 things, I thought I'd give everyone what they want: more facts about me.

1. My last name before I got married was Brown and now it's White. That's right, I just changed colors. Aren't you jealous? I thought about going by Emily Brown-White for awhile. Or naming a child using my maiden name so his name could be Brown White. I hope Kendall marries someone with the last name Black or Green (actually any color,we're not judgmental... I just don't know that many Oranges or Yellows...but I do know some Blues).

2. I went to the doctor today for my six week check up. While I was laying there, I told him he needed to get something pretty to look at on the ceiling or put a TV up there (the ceiling, not my...well you know). His exact reply was that "All the dentists screwed me over by doing that." Ok, sorry. Forget I asked.

3. I've learned that there are many things you will face in life that take a great amount of courage. Taking two children under the age of two into a restaurant is one of them.

4. This morning, I was changing Kendall's diaper and getting her dressed when I noticed it was very quiet. I called out for Cason and he never came. Trouble. I found him pouring orange juice all over a table in the living room. When he saw me, he leaned over and tried to slurp it up from the table...like to hide it so I wouldn't know he did it. This doesn't bode well for the future for so many reasons.

5. I have horrible directional skills. I don't know if I'm facing north, south, east or west. One time Colin was trying to tell me to meet him on the south side of a building. When I asked which side that was, his reply was,"You know, the side Texas would be on." Uh, yes, I understand that Texas is south of Oklahoma but which side of the dang building is that? Geez, I'm not that dumb.

Tuesday, January 29, 2008

Awhile back, Colin and I heard on the radio about some CEO that received a 430 million dollar severance package from his company. We began discussing what in the heck we would do with 430 million dollars. And we got in an argument. A real, honest to goodness argument about 430 million dollars; as if we will ever have the need to decide what to do with that kind of money.

So you can imagine how we're handling our tax return and/or tax rebate, if we can't even agree on a fictitious 430 mill. One of us want to redo to the bathroom or go on a family trip to Florida. One of us wants a new TV.

I'll let you guess who is who.


Wait, what? Savings account? Huh?

Monday, January 28, 2008

I bought Deceptively Delicious.

I know. Insert bandwagon comment here.

It's really just an attempt to get Cason to eat something for breakfast besides Poptarts and the marshmallows out of a bowl of Lucky Charms.

I'm starting off with one of the healthier recipes in the book. Chocolate chip cookies.

Friday, January 25, 2008

I'm on way, WAY too many email lists. You know the type. They say "Buy from whatever.com and save 15% off shipping! Today only!" And you have no recollection of of ever even visiting whatever.com. So I decided to unsubscribe to all of them. Which actually may not be a good thing. I used to feel important when I would open up my email and it would say that I had 12 new messages. Now when I open it up, I only have like one or two.

Today I got my weekly email from Staples.com. I clicked the "unsubscribe" button at the bottom and it took me to their website. It wanted me to pick why I wanted to unsubscribe. Here were my choices :

1. I get too many emails.

2. I get too many emails from Staples.com

3. Staples.com emails are not relevant to me.

4. Staples.com emails are too relevant (meaning I "feel watched").

I had to laugh at selection #4 at the thought of Staples having cameras in people's homes or workplaces and when they are out of ink toner, someone at Staples immediately sends them a coupon for it.

Maybe the guy who wears his sunglasses at night is actually working for Staples, alerting them whenever there's an office supply emergency.

Maybe that's why Dunder Mifflin can't compete with the large office supply conglomerates.

And we thought we should be afraid of the Patriot Act....

Wednesday, January 23, 2008

...your older sibling may push you as high as they can while you are in your infant swing.

...you may end up with grilled cheese, which has been dipped in gravy (don't ask), in your hair.

...while sleeping peacefully in your bouncy seat, you may be suddenly bounced out by your loving, older sibling.

...your soft spot may be "bopped" several times a day.

...a kiss from your older sibling may actually hurt.

...you will learn to be manhandled within an inch of your life.

...your older sibling may attempt to saw open your head with a butter knife to "see what's inside."

...you will probably catch a cold within the first two months of your life because of germy hands being forced into your mouth.

...you may be quite literally, "loved to death."

I don't even want to think about the third or fourth child.

Monday, January 21, 2008

A couple of weeks ago I enthusiastically undertook the project of going out with the kids to the mall by myself to meet a friend.  I didn't know how the double stroller (aka the "dorkmobile"--- just add some wood paneling and bumper sticker that says "We Heart Our Little Ones!") folded and unfolded.  I had asked Colin to either show me (he has done it many times) before he left for work or to leave the manual out.  He obliged me by doing neither.  So I was running late to meet my friend at the mall and I had two kids in the car when I decided to learn the stroller.  It took me forever.  There was much weeping and wailing and gnashing of teeth.  And possibly some obscenities (no, never).  And possibly some text messages sent to Colin thanking him for NOT HELPING ME WITH THE ONE THING I ASKED! or something of that general nature.  


And then I figured it out all on my own.  And I realized it was quite easy.  And I felt quite stupid, because apparently the stroller is made for even idiots to use.  

Or not.  

Fast forward to today when we were at the mall celebrating the birth and accomplishments of Doctor Martin Luther King by shopping.  Colin was attempting to fold the stroller up and he could not figure it out, at all.  So I had to show him (but only after I watched him struggle, with a smug look on my face) with a car waiting for our parking spot looking on.  Those that know my husband know that he prides himself on being able to figure out how anything works.

Ah, sweet justice. 

Thursday, January 17, 2008

I got a Mary Kay gift certificate for Christmas.

I don't wear Mary Kay.

Not that there is anything wrong with Mary Kay. I would just prefer to blow my money on cheap drugstore knockoffs that continually break my skin out. For some reason.

Anyway, back to the gift certificate. I didn't know what to spend it on and after discussing it with Jess, I decided to get the Satin Hands Set. I'd used it before so I knew how good it was, but dang! I didn't know it was this good! And no one is even paying me to say this!

I had this weird skin/nail infection that was so nasty it could have won a contest. Wait! Come back...I'll stop talking about my weird infection. Anyway, it made that look tons better. My dry cuticles look better too. My hands are also softer. Now maybe I can do something about my feet.

Wait! Was it something I said?

Oh! And one more thing...Kendall is 4 weeks old today...

Kendall, we love you and can't remember life without you. Although we're pretty certain it involved more sleep.

Monday, January 14, 2008

We have a game at our house that Colin and I like to play. It's really just a version of "Chicken." We both listen to a screaming child/children and ignore it as long as humanly possible, hoping that the other one will do something about it. The key to winning is to act busier than the other individual...too busy to do anything about said screaming child/children. Don't try to use the "I've been dealing with this all day" excuse. It doesn't work. Trust me, I've tried. But apparently the, "She needs to eat" tag line works every time for Colin (not without receiving mass amounts of eye rolling from me). The game is also fun to play at night. Colin's key strategy to winning at night is to act like he "accidentally" elbowed me in his sleep, as if to wake me up to alert me that one of our children in screaming. My winning strategy to kick him back.


We also play this game to see who can stand the smell of a dirty diaper longer.  

Do I have one of those kids? You know what I'm talking about. Those kids. The kid who you don't want your kid playing with because he may teach him something bad or do something bad to him or her. The kid who when the teacher gets them on their class list they say, "Oh Good Gosh. I'm quiting. Today." I used to be a teacher. They do that. I've heard.

Anyway, this is what I was pondering today at the grocery store. I was left wondering this after my son poked his finger into every egg in the carton, while I was busy, oh I don't know, shopping. Poked his finger into every egg. Poked his finger. Every Egg. Actually I take that back. He only poked his finger into eleven eggs. The last one he crushed in his hand. So I did what anyone in my situation would do. I put the eggs back and got another carton. But it left me wondering if I have one of those kids.

Tomorrow we have to go to Target. The last time we were there he ate an entire box of Goldfish crackers. Before I bought them.

Sunday, January 13, 2008

Ok, let's talk about Random Acts Of Kindness.  A friend of mine recently left her iPod on a plane.  Yesterday, someone left a new one on her doorstep.  Last month someone paid our cell phone bill for us.  In cash.  Colin thinks it was a glitch in the system.  I have preferred to think that someone loves us and lovingly paid the bill for us...because what are the odds that a glitch would not be caught and be paid in cash?  And there are other acts of kindness all around us that may not be so random.  Like when you lose power and someone lets you stay with them.  Or when you have a baby and someone brings you dinner.  Or when someone brings you cute little hairbows to help tame your daughter's wild monkey hair.  Or if your water goes out, your friends may let you come shower and do laundry at their house.  


The point is that kindness is important, random or not.  And I have been moved to be a kinder, more thoughtful person.  It's my resolution in 2008.  And if someone gives you a Random Act Of Kindness, don't assume it was me.  Assume it was someone who had one given to them and pass it on!  

PS I just found out Colin reads my blog.  That is going to put a serious cramp in my style.  

Friday, January 11, 2008

Guess what I got to do today? I got to take two kids to get their pictures made and then (as if that wasn't enough) I was lucky enough to get to take both of them to the doctor. Yay! Good times to be had by all!

Cason had a nice bruise down the middle of his forehead in his pictures. This morning while we were getting ready, he was throwing a fit (Because I, for some reason, don't want him eating out of a tube of toothpaste. Oh, the humanity!) and he threw himself back, landed on Kendall's bouncy seat (which of course she was in) and the seat propelled him forward into the door. And he hurt himself. I say sometimes you get what you deserve.

I took Kendall to the doctor to help her with her reflux. I called first, wanting to get some advice over the phone so I wouldn't have to pay the dang copay (Don't get me wrong. If my kids are sick, I want them to see a medical professional. They just have to be REALLY sick. Like missing a limb. Or possibly be dying.). But the doctor wanted me to bring her in. Of course. But the bright side was that they over charged me last visit so I didn't have to pay this time. Ah, medical bureaucracy at it's finest. Anyway, we got Kendall some medicine after the doctor suggested I give up dairy and I laughed and suggested she find a new solution. I sacrifice baked goods for no one, lady.

And...ONE MORE THING: My friend over at Mauck Talk is having a hairbow give away. She makes really cute bows. I know because Kendall has three of them. Anyway, this is purely selfish as I want to win but you should go visit and maybe try to win too. And if you don't have a little girl, you should enter anyway and give me the prize if you win. I'm just sayin...

Monday, January 07, 2008

Well, I survived my first full by myself at home with two kids. And there was only a minor amount of screaming and crying, but I tried to control myself. I did manage to take a shower and do my hair. Not that you would know it, apparently. When Colin got home he asked if I had showered and I said yes. He said, " Hmmm, the back of your hair doesn't look like you did."

Hands off girls, he's mine.

We're slowly being eased back into real life. I haven't had to cook or do anything useful in quite some time. First there was the eleven days we were without power (What? You were without power, Emily? That's so weird. You never mentioned it in your blog.) that I was throughly pampered by my in laws. Then when we got home from the hospital my mom was here for a week and a half (and if you're thinking, "Good Gosh, that's a lot of family time," you're right!). And now our friends are kind enough to bring us dinner a week. Which is good, because having two kids is hard y'all - Just ask Britney Spears.

Saturday, January 05, 2008

I know, two posts on back to back days!  It's because I have miles of extra time now.  Having two kids is not that hard, y'all...just ask Britney Spears.  Although, I just realized that my last post ended up on here twice.  Not sure how that happened but I'll fix it.  


We had a first here last night.  I decided I should stay home when I had other options.  I say "I" not "we" because Colin's choice is always to stay home.  Normally when we are invited out or to a party, I drag Colin kicking and screaming or I go by myself to get away from (uh, I mean, give quality guy time to) the boys.  Those of you that know us well are not surprised by this. But last night we were invited to a party.  It was one of Colin's coworkers and after Colin said we would go, he was informed kids were not invited.  Now, I have no problem with this.  I don't like to invite my kids anywhere either.  But we had like 24 hours to find someone to watch Cason and then there was the whole issue of Kendall (does she count as an uninvited kid?  what would she be like with a sitter? etc.).  So we decided that Colin would go to the party and I would stay with the kids.  And then Colin decided he wouldn't go either.  Which doesn't make any sense to me.  If I could go to a party and leave Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Dum and home, with my spouse's blessing, I would be out the door faster than you can say, "Vaya Con Dios." So we stayed home.  Actually that's not entirely true.  We did go to Target, where we ran into two of Colin's male students while Cason was sitting in the cart playing a box of Kotex like a drum. Of course.   

Friday, January 04, 2008

Kendall's hair had so much fluff and body today, I told Colin she looked like a monchichi.  I'm not sure if that is a good thing or a bad thing.  I guess that depends on your view of monchichis. 


She is laying on her floor gym right now, completely uninterested in it, of course.  Which is good because Cason keeps pushing the toys over onto her head.  He knows newborns have poor vision and he wants her to be able to see the gym toys up close.  

We went to the doctor yesterday for a two week check up.  The doctor likes to see the little babies first thing in the morning so there is not a crowded waiting room of snotty nosed brats (er, uh children) when you take your newborn in.  Sounds like a good idea right?  Well when you have to get you and your baby ready for a 9 am doctor's appointment after being up with said baby who enjoys the nightlife, you may prefer the crowded, sick waiting room.  But I digress.  Kendall has gained a pound and grown a half inch since we left the hospital.  She is now as big as Cason was at six weeks.  It could have something to d with the 482 gallons of breast milk she eats everyday.  And she has acid reflux.  Reflux = Fun times ahead.  Kendall also received her first shot.  She let out a cry that I'm pretty sure only dogs can hear. The difference in the first and second child?  With your first, when they get a shot, they cry, you cry and you beg someone to go with you the next time so that you don't have to endure the sound of your baby in pain.  With the second, you say a quick, "Sorry, get over it," and revel in the fact that they will be sleeping for the next several hours.  

Wednesday, January 02, 2008





Well, 2008 got off to a bangin' start at the casa de White.  We woke up to a dead mouse in the kitchen (another story for another post), Cason temporarily gave up naps, and Kendall was so excited about the new year, she has stayed up celebrating since then!  What can I say, the girl knows a good party when she sees one.  
Leaving 2007 is bittersweet.  I spent nine months of the year pregnant so I'm not sad to see that go but my baby (Cason) got a lot older and more independent. I'm sure that 2008 will be just eventful and so long as it doesn't hold another pregnancy, I say bring it on.  
My mom left today, leaving me alone with the two kids for the first significant time period.  When my mom was here she cooked, cleaned, did laundry and sewed some new curtains for Cason.  You want to know something funny though?  When I go to her house, I don't cook, clean, do laundry or sew anything of use.