Wednesday, August 29, 2007

You know you're crazy and have to much money when....

Monday, August 27, 2007

Well, I am currently loving kettle corn, grape tomatoes, and Ted Drewes. Not that I've had Ted Drewes recently but I wish I had. I am also loving the movie Fracture. And not only because it has the adorable Ryan Gosling in it (or David Strathairn, whatever your fancy) but also because it has a surprise ending and a satisfying ending. Those rarely come together.
What am I not loving? Well how about rude way I was treated at Wally World today. What happened you ask? Well, I got up the the register (where Cason was halfway between asleep and hysterically crying) and realized that instead of a jar of Gerber Graduates peaches, I had picked up a jar of the Chicken Sticks. Cason will NOT eat those, he hates them and since all of my crap was already on the conveyor belt, I didn't feel it necessary to take the 63 cent jar of chicken sticks back. SO I did what anyone in my situation would do, I just set it on the back of the conveyor belt knowing that some nice Wal-Mart employee would take it back. When I went to pay, the nice lady behind me (who also had a screaming toddler...I think we are kindred spirits) thought I forgot them and I said, "No, I thought they were something else." The lady at the register was like, "Well give it to me. You don't just leave stuff there. I guess I'll have to take core of it but you don't just leave stuff!" The lady behind me was really embarrassed and she apologized for getting me in trouble. Then the lady behind the register DROPPED MY BANANAS and then threw them in the sack! I was so mad I drop kicked her and then threw her a roundhouse kick to the face while Cason held her down. And then we celebrated our victory by eating a pudding cup at home.

Thursday, August 23, 2007

When your child is screaming in his or her car seat, you will inevitably hit every red light on the way home. This is especially true if he is crying for no particular reason.

Hey..like the new layout? I was sick of the old one. I may keep this one or change it again. You never can tell with me.

Tuesday, August 21, 2007

My friend Jen posted recently about a little show called Scott Baio is 45 and Single. I contend that if you would like to know why, look no further than his friend Johnny V., who thank goodness he cut out of his life on this past week's episode (see what you have forced me to watch, Summer Reruns!). But I would like everyone (or at lease those who haven't lost their minds and canceled their cable) to give a chance to a little VH1 show called "The Pick Up Artist." When I first saw previews for this show, I was all,"Yeah right. I want to watch a bunch of losers make an idiot of themselves while learning from a guy who looks like Criss Angel in a Pamela Anderson hat...who happens to be named Mystery." But it turns out I DO want to watch. Mystery (yes that's his name) and his wing men, J-Dog (or Dawg perhaps?) and Matador give the guys actual people skills. I mean these guys were disasters and now, they are approaching women! You start rooting for these nerdy guys sort of like in the days gone by of "Average Joe." Anyway, it's something to watch while we're all waiting until LOST starts in like 42 years.

Maybe I'll name my daughter Mystery. We haven't come up with anything better yet. Hmmm...Mystery White.

Friday, August 17, 2007

So I have a few things on my mind. First and foremost will someone please for the love of all things righteous in the world do something about Britney Spears? I stuck up for her when she almost dropped her kid (it could happen to anyone). I tried to justify when the kid was facing the wrong direction in the car seat (again...anyone). But now, she's not that innocent (haha).

Secondly, I have a new law of parenting. If I offer it, it will be turned down. If I'm eating it, it will be begged for. And when, for the sake of Pete, do children developmentally understand that sometimes THINGS HAVE TO BE HEATED IN THE MICROWAVE FOR 25 SECONDS SO DON'T SCREAM AND THROW A FIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! But I digress.

Also, as much as I wanted a girl, now I'm having second thoughts. As it currently stands, Yours Truly is the number one ranking princess in the house and I'm not sure I'm ready to give that up. It really comes in handy when I can sigh, roll my eyes and complain about being the only female while Colin teaches Cason to hold his arms up and say, "Touchdown." Which incidentally sounds like, "TaDow!"

And now for The Funniest Thing I've Heard in Ten Years (squeamish males look away): An author in LA recounts a time when her five year old daughter was in the bathroom with her while she was peeing (of course). When her daughter spotted the white string hanging from her mom's 'private parts' she said, "Mommy, I think you sat in some gum."

Thursday, August 16, 2007

There may possibly be toys in your lead paint! If you have recently bought lead paint with the plan to paint every wall in your house thus slowing the development of your child's brain, please be advised that there may be toys in the paint. If you encounter one of these toys, don't touch it or give it to your child as it may not be totally covered in lead and could result in the child learning something. Just return the paint, with the toy, to the store you bought it from for a full refund or to exchange your lead paint for some without toys inside.

Wednesday, August 08, 2007

Although I am missing my daily dose of Pat O'Brien to make this post, I think it needs to be said.

Congratulations to the Duggar Family on the birth of their 17th child. Yes, I know that I am a Johnny Comelately on this story that happened last week but I have some thoughts I would like to share on the situation (shocking I know):

1. I'm not one of those people that think that the Duggar's must have a neat family. I feel sorry for their kids. The older ones have to spend time with his or her "assigned sibling." How is that fair? What if you don't really like the kid? I hope you don't think it's the coolest thing in the world and I am not offending you at this very moment.

2. They all have J names and, in theory, I'm not against it. As some friends and I discussed on Friday, they are just now using the name Jennifer? Isn't that the obvious choice for a J name?

3. I like on the website that it says, "Children are a heritage of the Lord..." Not that I take issue with something the Bible says, I just think it would be more appropriate to finish that statement with something like, "...but may act like the devil."

4. And let me just say about said website, when I was typing in "Duggar family" into the search engine, I typed in D-U-G and it came up as a suggestion. Who are all these people searching this family online?

5. How big do you think Mrs. Duggar's uterus is at this point? I'd say big enough for a Volkswagen to park comfortably in. Or if not a Volkswagen, at the very least one of these cars (which, by the way, I better see Al Gore driving in January of 08...not into Mrs. Duggar's uterus, just in general).

Thursday, August 02, 2007

(Drum Roll Please)

GIRL!

And not one of those, "I don't see any boy parts so I think it's a girl." It really is 100% girl. I'm kind of shocked actually. And now I have to figure out how a girl fits in with all our boys! But I'm excited. Colin is already seeing the dollar signs floating by.

Anyway, at this point if this kid happens to come out a boy, I will love it but I will be seriously ticked.