Monday, July 16, 2007

A note from Cason:
To all babies/toddlers/children who may be reading this blog:
I have been perfecting the art of the 'body tantrum' i.e. communicating to your parents without talking while they try to make you do something you have no interest in!

Body tantrum 1: The knees-to-chest
This involves pulling your knees up as high as you can and sticking your feet out. It works best when mom or dad is trying to put you somewhere like the high chair or stroller, or when they want you to stand up. You can't stand up unless your feet are on the floor right?

Body tantrum 2: The jello body
To do this correctly, make your entire body go limp. Provide no help or rigidity to the adult attempting to move you. This tactic works best when someone is trying to pick you up from a place you are not ready to leave. You will basically slip through his or her hands and go back to where you were happy.

Body tantrum 3: The stiff body
This basically is the opposite of #2. Make your body as stiff as humanly possible. Do not move anything under any circumstances! This performs the same function as #1 but with the added bonus that the parent/individual will think that he or she will break one of your limbs if pushed too hard...don't worry, they won't.

Body tantrum 4: The arched back
This could be the most dangerous but possibly the most effective in getting your way. When you are picked up or being held, arch your back until your are almost completely upside down. The bad part is that there is a danger in being dropped. But to prevent that, you may be given exactly what you want by your parent.

If there are any babies/toddlers/children with any other tips to share...please let me know as I am just beginning my arsenal of ways to get what I want.

A note from Emily:
About the post above I would like to advise all of those with children not to let the kiddies read that...you don't want to put ideas into their heads.

For those without children...uh....(crickets chirping)...I mean you'll love parenthood. It's great.

I love (LOVE) Ben Folds and I just discovered the song 'The Luckiest." How did I not know about that song? It could be the best song EVER. If you want to know what I am listening to that's it.

Look at these nerds:

3 comments:

swatterson said...

Dear Cason,

I find that, when in public, you should just make as much noise as possible. You should "cry" as loudly as you can. Your mom may try the "counting to three" trick but she will likely be too embarrassed to actually beat your butt in front of all those people. Your mom may try ignoring you completely but eventually she will take notice of you if you just keep going. I realize that no tears will come and she will likely realize that you are only faking it but just keep up with the noise. A note of caution: do not do this if there are secluded areas near by in which case your mom may take you out of ear shot of the public and proceed in "wearing you out" as usual.

Another note of caution: your mom may try to distract you using any means she can think of. DO NOT LOSE FOCUS...no matter how cool you think it is to try on her sunglasses.

Good luck,
Chase

Fine print from Sara: "Beating Butt" and "wearing out" = "Spanking"...I do not beat my child.

Melanie said...

Cason,
It is also effective to excersise your vocal abilities. I have learned that you should just screech at the highest vocal range possible as loud as possible. This is very good at getting attention and what you want. I have mastered this skill.

Reese

P.S. I see you have inherited your moms great humor!

Anonymous said...

Dear Cason,
It sounds like you have several great strategies working to get your way! I would just like to add the following technique from your Uncle Adam--we fondly refer to it as "The Buckin' Bronco." This move looks just like it sounds--you pretend that you are on a bucking horse at the rodeo. Your body opens and closes (making sure to stay stiff and rigid to keep control)while flinging at least one arm through the air. I guarantee that this will get you out of a restaurant, grocery store or (gasp!) a fabric store in 15 seconds flat, especially if you can add yelling and screaming to it. Also, be sure to regularly go to your mom's mirror at home and practice lots of different facial expressions--sad, hurt, mad, tired, outraged, bossy, deathly ill, etc. That way you will be able to call up these faces whenever just the right drama is needed. I'm surprised your mom never shared this with you--this was one of her best techniques.
Love,
Granny Beth